Sacrifice
by RedMonster111
Summary: Nara VaunTil was saved by Han Solo when she was a child and became friends with the young Ben Solo, She lost her connection to him when he was sent off with his uncle to learn the ways of the Force. What happens, after years of not knowing her, when he finds her as a slave on Jakku?
1. Chapter 1: Slave

" _It's just a stupid animal, Nara," exclaimed the dark haired boy, who was chasing after the small blonde who wouldn't stop running._

" _So? You're stupid too, but people take care of you!" Yelled the little girl to the boy, who only rolled his eyes in annoyance._

 _Ben ripped a branch out of his way, and continued to follow her._

 _They were running towards Ben's home, which was surrounded by forests and animals, Ben couldn't stand it. Nature was unpredictable and it got everywhere. It was his mother who decided that Ben needed to be raised in an environment like this. Something simple, unchallenging. Han didn't like it either, he still preferred to be out in the galaxy, being free. He tried not to miss his freedom, but this is what he signed up for when he married Leia, and when they got pregnant._

 _Nara was the wild card in their lives. She was saved by Han when she was kidnapped by pesky outer-ring pirates. They had killed her family, and stole her to be sold on the black market. She was only 5 years old. Now, Nara lives with a family down the stream from the Solos. And Ben had always been her best friend, despite the strange things he was able to do. Some of the families were afraid of him._

 _He knew that too, despite his parents trying to save him from that knowledge. He wasn't stupid._

" _I don't want to go back home yet, Nara. It's too early!" He yelled, trying to convince her to stop._

" _Then wait here for me, I have to save this frog, or else I won't be able to forgive myself!" She yelled back, not even turning around to look at him._

" _The frog is dead already, can't you feel that?" He said, sitting down and wiping his forehead._

 _Nara finally stopped and looked at the frog in the box she was holding. She couldn't see it breathing, nor was it darting its playful eyes like it had been before she dropped a rock on it by accident._

" _Oh," was all she mumbled when she turned and started walking towards Ben._

 _She sat down beside him and stared at the frog. She felt tears spill out her eyes, but she stayed silent._

" _Oh, stop that. Like I said, it's only an animal. You didn't mean to hurt him," said Ben, who took the box out of small hands and on to the ground beside him._

 _He looked at her and her bright yellow hair. She was 2 years younger than him, but he could barely tell the difference between their maturity: they both didn't have any._

" _Why didn't you tell me the frog died! I wouldn't have wasted all that time!" She yelled, hitting him with both fists in the arm._

" _Ow! I just didn't want you to be crying," he said, blocking his arm from her punches._

 _She grunted and wiped her face off with her sleeves. "I wasn't crying, jerk."_

" _Would you get up? You're wasting time again," said Ben, but it sounded distorted._

 _Nara looked at him, but she couldn't find his face anymore. Just his words echoed all around her and in the trees._

" _What?"_

" _Get up."_

" _Get up!"_

" _GET UP, NARA!"_

 _The voices screamed around her until she put her hands over her ears and started screaming with her eyes held shut tight._

With a whoosh, she opened her eyes and didn't see the green forest or Ben. She saw her disgusting owner, gook covering his aged reptile eyes and his mouth dripping with saliva. She could even smell his liquor and food on his hot breathe.

She groaned and said, "I'm awake, Gringat." She wiped her eyes and sat up.

The sun was spilling in through the cracks in the mud walls, making their hut like an oven. Her 'bed' was nothing more than a frame made out of palm tree, a sheet, and a pillow. The same thing she had been sleeping on for 3 years.

 _I hadn't dreamed about Ben in years_ , she thought to herself, making her chest ache a little.

Her best friend had been killed by one of his fellow padawan, who now calls himself Kylo Ren. His reputation was ruthless and powerful. He always seemed to get what he wants. At least, that's what Nara had heard from travelers. She hadn't been off Jakku in 3 years, she hardly knew anything about the rest of the galaxy anymore.

"Get started on your chores, girl. I'll have no more laziness from you!" Squawked Gringat at her.

She sighed in her head and went out the door. It was the same thing everyday. Do your morning chores, find food, do your afternoon chores, and then find food again. She was a slave to a metal dealer in a small village on Jakku, there wasn't much to do besides chores anyways.

Most of the villagers here hardly do anything besides work either, and they're all so selfish. None of them looked out for each other, so no one had friends. Not the slaves, anyway. It was kill or be killed, essentially. Nara especially preferred to keep to herself. She doesn't trust anyone at this point.

The Solos abandoned her as soon as Ben died, her 'friends' she met up with soon after sold her to black market dealers, and in turn, they sold her to Gringat. She considered herself at least a little lucky. She wasn't sold as a pleasure slave. Not that it hadn't been an issue prior to being bought.

As she was walking towards her next area, she looked into the sky and thought, _At least you escaped this hell._

* * *

"Finally, night time!" Exclaimed Nara, who jumped down off the small broken ship, and grabbed all the scraps she happened to conjure up. It wasn't a bad picking, not the most she had ever found, but a good enough amount to earn herself some portions.

While turning a corner, she saw some carts flying towards her, painted with the colors blue and yellow. _Oh crap,_ she cursed, _Simions._ A group of Melittos who are known for harassing and stealing from the helpless or weak.

She could already hear the hollering, they had noticed her and her findings.

"Look at this, boys!" Laughed out the worst of them, Cloves.

"Leave me alone, Cloves. I just want to eat tonight!" She yelled, grabbing something she could use as a weapon.

Cloves glanced at her 'weapon' which was only a metal bar, and said, "Don't make me laugh. Just make this easier and give us your findings. You won't have to get hurt." He jumped off his flyer and took a step towards her.

She stepped back but only into another Melitto that snuck behind her. She was surrounded.

"I'm not the only one that's going to get hurt here if you don't leave now," she threatened.

She was taught, vaguely, on how to defend herself by Han and Ben when she was younger, & the training had been useful a handful of times. But being outnumbered meant being out-strengthened.

The Melitto behind her grabbed her shoulders, causing her to instinctively hit him in the top of the head with the bar. He let go and made a sound that was similar to a scream. Blood was on her bar.

Cloves smirked and jumped forward, slapping her face with the back of his hand. She stumbled, but regained her footing. With no time lost, she swung the bar into his left side rib cage and turned around and hit another member in the temple.

"Useless wench!" Yelled another member, who uppercut her in the jaw. She screamed out in pain and felt the hot ground hit her spine and the back of her skull. Cloves, who recovered from the blow, ordered other men to hold her down while they gathered all her things.

When they were finished, they let her go. Cloves spat in her face and said, "Next time, you won't be able to walk when we're done with you."

 _Damn them!_ Screamed Nara to herself. Some tears left her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. Her upcoming punishment was what she had really feared, not her not eating. The Simions not only stole her findings, they stole her entire crate. Gringat wouldn't be happy that he needs to buy another, and he would punish her until he was tired.

He may be an aged reptile, but he still had a lot of strength that could be unleashed.

* * *

"You pathetic waste of space! You were hardly worth the money I spent on you!" Screamed Gringat.

He grabbed her bound wrists and dragged her to a wooden post near the outskirt of the village.

"Cloves has the crate, Master, he stole it!" She yelled again, ferocity spilling out with her words.

He didn't respond and only continued to tie her to the post.

A loud cracking interrupted his thoughts, causing him to look into the sky. A dark bird-like ship was coming into the atmosphere and headed towards the village. Gringat screamed, loud and feminine enough to cause Nara to giggle. And she would have, if not for the impending fear that comes with that ship. She knew it could only be Kylo Ren's, who else would have a ship so menacing looking?

Gringat, panicking and mumbling to himself, finished tying up Nara and said, "Better you die than I!" And retreated to his hut.

"Coward!" She screamed, while staring at the ship, that was finally landing.

When the doors opened, stormtroopers came pouring out, shooting blasters at everyone they saw. The commotion was nothing but screams and fires. She even saw little children being shot and killed.

"No! Stop it!" She screamed, tears were falling out of her eyes uncontrollably and she struggled against the binds keeping her at the post. She repeatedly screamed for someone to help her, but they were all running for their lives.

She looked at the ship and saw the black hooded figure, and she finally could have a face for her nightmares about Ben and it was a mask. She saw stormtroopers place an old man, one she didn't recognize, in front of Kylo Ren. They were too far away to hear anything they were saying.

Then the bright red bling of his saber rang out over her green eyes, and he struck down the old man. Nara's scream was drowned out by a man's and the firing of a blaster. She saw Kylo Ren react immediately and he stopped the blast in mid air. The sight sent a chill down Nara's spine and she couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

 _He's so powerful…_ thought Nara to herself, unable to look away from him.

They replaced the old man with a younger man, around Nara's age. They had exchanged words until the man was taken onto Kylo Ren's ship. Finally, Nara looked away from the black figure and looked around the village she had lived on and realized that she was going to be killed here.

Panic started rising, and she tugged and tugged on the rope that connected her to the pole. She got onto her knees and tugged even harder. She started screaming, which she thought no one could notice, since she wasn't the only one panicing. Whoever was still alive, was running as fast and erratically as they could.

Nara looked around, screaming for help, until she saw the black figure staring directly at her, closer than he had been before. She felt another chill run from her chest to the rest of her body.

 _He noticed me. I have to escape!_

With another attempt of calling for help, she whipped her head around, and it collided with the knee of some villager. The force from the blow made Nara collapse into the sand, unconscious.

Kylo Ren, who recognized her immediately, couldn't stop his own curiosity. He walked, or glided, to her and knelt down next to the small blonde haired girl who had aged since last time he saw her.

 _She must know where Luke is._ He thought to himself, waving a hand to control the force to release her binds. A far too simple maneuver that he didn't have to think about to perform. He lifted her and carried her onto the ship himself.


	2. Chapter 2: Reveal

_Violent red and white sparks came out of the bodies of the students. They were young, they were powerful and full of potential. Especially… him. He was the grandson of Darth Vader for god's sake. Not many people in the galaxy know anything about the Skywalkers or their heritage. But Nara knew, she knew everything about… him._

 _She saw the red, and wondered if it was from his lightsaber, or if it was blood. He, the dark figure that killed so many innocent children, and stripped her of balance; He was Kylo Ren. His dark shiny mask showed her her own reflection, something she felt like is new and unfamiliar. Her dark green eyes were put in the background compared to her bright hair or her sun-tanned skin._

 _Kylo Ren stepped closer and raised his lightsaber again, she winced, expecting to be cut in half by heat. Instead, she looked up and saw that it was piercing into Ben's stomach, his face was down in his hands._

" _Ben!" She screamed, running towards him. Every step she took made her farther away from him, and closer to Kylo Ren._

" _Leave him alone!" She screamed again, her face getting hot from anger and wet from tears._

 _When Kylo Ren looked at her, she saw darkness behind the eyes of his mask. Nothing but darkness and rage and undeserved hatred. But for who?_

Opening her eye was the hardest thing she could do. What would be there when she opened them? Darkness? Debris from the attack? Was she alive, or was she killed?

She opened them, and saw her dirty arms strapped on to metal arm rests. She was in a small room with no windows. Only one door, and she was locked to a chair.

"What… Where?" She mumbled to herself, trying unsuccessfully to get loose from her holdings.

She thought about where she could be and only came up with one solution. She was on Kylo Ren's ship. What could he possibly want from her? Torture her more than he already has? He shouldn't even know she exists, little lone that he killed someone close to her. She had nothing to do with the First Order, she had been stuck on Jakku!

 _I don't want to be here. I'd rather be on Jakku with Cloves than on a First Order ship with THE Kylo Ren._

Just then, the door opened and revealed a storm trooper, leading in Kylo Ren. He wasn't wearing the hood this time, but his mask and clothes still made him look threatening.

Nara sucked in air so fast, like it was her last. Breathing had become a foreign act in his presence. She wished she could be braver, but she knew that she had nothing on her side. Not even control of her body.

When he had walked all the way in, her stood by the foot of the chair she was strapped into and waited for the stormtroopers to leave and close the door. She was alone with him, and the air couldn't be more still.

She wondered if he knew that she wasn't breathing. He only stared at her, and she couldn't look away from him.

He was tall, taller than most of the men she had seen in her life. He held himself up like he was a young god. _Not that he wasn't basically a god right now._ He was a God to her. His power couldn't be touched by anyone she had ever met in her life. All the blasters and ships in the galaxy couldn't be more powerful than having him as an ally.

Finally, he spoke.

"What do you know about Luke Skywalker?" His voice was deep and mechanical.

 _If he wasn't a God, he was a demon._

The question had sent a million others running through her head. She was speechless and couldn't find a way to answer. She knew tons of things about Luke Skywalker, everything that the Solos had told her.

She opened her mouth to say that she didn't understand, but he spoke over her and said, "What do you know about the _whereabouts_ of Luke Skywalker?"

She scrunched her eyebrows together and was brought to another sample of questions.

"I… I don't know anything about where Luke Skywalker is," she said, honestly.

She had never met him, nor what happened after Ben was killed.

"I had assumed he was dead," said Nara, finding her voice again.

Kylo Ren lowered his head and put his hands behind his back. He walked around the chair she was strapped in, slowly, making her want to curl into a ball. Not having her eyes on him made her anxious. She had no idea what he was doing.

 _He did this on purpose. He knows he's terrifying. Why would I know anything about Luke Skywalker now?_

"I have ways of making you tell me the truth," he stated, finally coming into view, next to her. He was closer than she wanted him. She figured she would be close enough to smell something off of him, but she found that he smelled like absolutely nothing.

 _Maybe he is nothing behind the mask._

"I… I am telling the truth. I have no fight with the First Order. Why am I here?" She asked, looking away from him.

He walked back in front of the chair, and asked, "Where is Luke Skywalker?"

This time, she looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I don't know. I thought you killed him years ago. Why would I know anything about him?"

"You were close to Han Solo and General Leia of the resistance. Where are they?" He said, she could tell his patience with her was wearing thin.

"I have no idea! I haven't heard from them in years!" Her patience with him was wearing thin as well.

He stepped once, and he was closer to her than ever. He raised his hand, gently towards her head. That's when she felt an indescribable pain. She felt another presence in her head. It felt like scratching and tearing in her brain, her skull was the only thing keeping her brain from falling apart.

She felt him gaze into her unwilling soul with ease. He felt her struggle under his power

She screamed while he scanned her memories. She watched him going through her memories on Jakku, and then even before that.

She saw him looking at her memory of when Ben died. She felt the same pain in her chest she felt day. It felt like a deep wound being ripped open and all the pain with it pouring out.

"Get out!" She screamed loud, making him recoil his hand quickly.

He turned his back to her while she wept. Watching her cry wasn't something he was ever able to do. Even now. She only wanted to hold her throbbing head in her hands, but was unable to move her arms still.

"Why do you care about when Ben died? Stay the hell out of my head, you bastard!" She screamed before she realized what she had said. If she wasn't dead before, she would be dead now.

"Died?" He questioned a silent moment later, while slowly turning away to look at her.

She looked at his back while he turned, he was tense.

"Sorry. I meant to say: Why do you care about when Ben was _murdered?"_ She retorted. Her head was pounding, she couldn't believe she was being so cross with him.

Although, it felt good. If she was going to die, she would die giving a murderer an annoying time at least.

She heard a muffled chuckle and she couldn't believe it.

"How _dare_ you!? He might have been a nothing to you, but he was my friend! Don't you dare laugh at his death! He was-"

"Is that what they told you?" He said, interrupting her tantrum.

She felt a prickling sensation in the base of her spine, and then she felt cold everywhere else. Why was he questioning Ben's death? He knows what happened!

Her face felt flushed, and she could feel herself sweating from rage. Blind rage.

"You, a dark evil coward that hides behind a mask, killed Ben Solo. You're a demon and I hate you for it!" She screamed at him. She was ignoring the pain and focusing wholly on the creature before her.

He stepped back, away from her and said, "Don't believe everything the Solo family tells you."

He raised his arms to the back of his helmet, making its mechanisms move and shift apart. He took of the helmet slowly, as if he was uncomfortable. In reality, he was preparing her for the truth. It would destroy her and her way of thinking. He knew that.

He took the helmet off completely and held it at his side. When his eyes met hers, he saw her shock immediately.

She looked at his face. She felt her blood freeze in place; she felt the whole universe freeze on this moment. His dark brown eyes met her green. She looked at his pale skin, his sharp features and only saw the person she cared for. She saw the person that held her hand when that frog died and she saw the boy that she helped get away from bullies.

She saw the boy she loved in the outfit of the person who changed her entire world.

He had just caused her intense pain, something she had never encountered before.

She saw Ben.

 _No. That can't be Ben. Ben isn't evil, he isn't a demon. You can't be my Ben!_

"No..." Was all she could get out before she started hyperventilating. She looked away from him and back at him so many times, she got dizzy. She couldn't feel the oxygen in her, she only felt a burning envelop her body.

She cried out as if someone had just punched her gut, and pulled against the restraints, the metal cutting into the wrists. As if she really noticed. They only thing she could see was Ben and Kylo Ren in the same person, it was like something out of a horror picture and she was the audience.

She watched the restraints unlock and she immediately jumped out of the chair and went to the other side of the room.

She collapsed on the ground and held her knees to her chest while she wept into them.

Meanwhile, Kylo Ren watched his old friend from a lifetime ago react to finally seeing him. She must hate him, as he expected. He didn't know exactly how she would react, but hiding wasn't it. He remembered her being braver.

He stepped towards the girl, and said, "He's still gone, Nara. Nothing has changed."

He turned away from her, and left her alone in the dark room. She was better off alone, he wasn't going to get anything useful out of her, She obviously didn't know anything about the resistance or the whereabouts of Luke.

She was useless to him now.


	3. Chapter 3: Accept

Pretending to be asleep would never work, she knew because it had never worked when they were kids either.

Some nights, mostly bad nights, they would just lay under the stars. Nara cherished these nights. She loved them so much, she would pretend to be asleep just to make the nights last longer. And somehow, Ben would always know when she was faking it. Back then, she didn't really understand his power, but she wasn't afraid of it.

She had seen regular people do horrible things already.

Although, she really questions if seeing the truth yesterday was the most horrible sight she had ever seen. She doesn't remember what happened after he left nor does she know how she got into a real bedroom. Just the thought of Kylo Ren carrying her makes her shudder.

 _Maybe I should shower just in case._ She thought quietly, rubbing her hands on her shoulders. The worst part is that she hasn't been in such a nice room in her life.

The sheets were silk, the comforter was made of real fur and filled the finest feathers from across the galaxy. The bed was a circle, too big for just one person. On the floor, marble spiralled out like sun rays. Walls were a soft white, and a crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling.

Nara hadn't adventured farther than the bed, and assumed the door was locked. Not that there was much hope for her to avoid being noticed.

 _I don't even know where I am, now. I just want to get away from here and forget about all of this. I have nothing to do with this anymore._

Feeling suffocated, Nara finally got the courage to get out of the bed. She was wearing the same clothes she was yesterday, she was thankful for that much. Her small, cloth covered feet met the marble ground, and she felt the ice cold floor.

She winced, and continued to walk to a window. Outside, there was snow and wilderness, stretching out for miles. There were many buildings too, making her feel even more suffocated. The pure white snow gave her a headache, and she sat back down on the bed.

 _Why am I here?_

Her body ached. She thought she should be used to being sore. Nara thought about when Kylo Ren went through her head. _I had no idea he was so powerful._

The torture still enveloped her thoughts.. She couldn't explain it, even to herself. It was like a sharp shovel, tunneling through her cranium. It wasn't a pain she wanted to experience a second time.

She thought about the little boy she grew up. _How did he get like this?_ She couldn't see that boy turn into this monster. She was almost grateful she hadn't seen Ben since he left to train with his uncle. She barely recognized him.

Nara doesn't know how she is going to react to seeing Kylo Ren again. Will she freeze in fear again, or stand up braver? Most of her just wants to leave and . But the other part wants to see him again. She wants to know what happened, but she knows that talking to him now would be like talking to a stranger… a scary, dark stranger.

Another small morsel of her hopes that he wonders the same thing. Maybe that's why he brought her to a real bedroom instead of a cell. Maybe he kept her here because he wants to know too.

 _Maybe he missed me…_

 _NO. Don't be stupid. He's a monster now. He's already killed someone right in front of me. He invaded my thoughts and memories. He's not Ben at all. Ben is still dead._

The door made a clicking sound, Nara jumped at the sound of it. She knew that Kylo was coming back.

To her surprise, it was only a droid carrying in a set of black clothes. She almost gagged at the thought of wearing some black First Order suit. But it's not like she has another option.

She groaned in anger and went to the restroom. It was just as nice as the bedroom. Two sinks, a large mirror, a bar of light above it. The shower was made of stone. Nara looked in the large mirror and saw she had dirt caked on her arms and her face. Her hair was a mess in her bun. It still held its bright yellow, but it was dimmer. Her green eyes didn't shine like they used to either.

"Screw it," she mumbled and started stripping her dirty rags. When the water came on, she swore she could hear angels singing. She hasn't seen real running water like this in years. She laughed a little and got into the stream of clear crystals. She felt it running down her back and her legs. She started scrubbing away all the filth of Jakku and that part of her life. She wanted to feel clean, pure and like her old self again, whoever that was.

 _This is a mess._ Nara thought to herself, thinking about her story. _The past is over. I need to forget._

She started crying. The tears weren't from pain or sadness, they were for accepting the truth.

 _Ben is dead, and Kylo Ren still killed him. I feel nothing but animosity towards him._

She managed to convince herself to come out of the shower. Nara knew she must embrace the next series of events. Whether she fights for her life or is just killed. If Kylo Ren really only wanted information on Luke, she would be completely useless to him. And she hasn't heard of people being freed from First Order captivity.

Although, Nara doubts they keep suspects in such nice rooms.

 _What am I supposed to do?_

The black clothes fit almost perfectly. She hated them. When she looked into the mirror, she had changed drastically. Her skin was clear and tan, hair was as vibrant as ever. And the black clothes brought out her eyes like a tree in the desert.

"You _are_ stunning," said a deep voice from behind her.

She couldn't help but jump at the sound of a voice. She turned and saw a man dressed in completely black suit with red hair. He looked so normal, but Nara could feel evil radiating off of him.

"Who are you?" She asked, backing against the wall.

The man laughed and said, "General Hux, of the First Order. I thought even slave trash like you would have heard of me."

 _Dick._

"I don't listen when they talk about cowards who use big guns and hundreds of murderers as an army to scare innocent people for power," Nara had heard of General Hux. She knew what she was saying was true.

Not one soul had the guts to say it to his face.

Hux pressed his lips together so hard, they looked like one straight line, his face was turning a light red; who'd think he would blow up.

Suddenly, his demeanor changed, as if he just remembered something. He turned his thin lips into a cocky smirk. Hux stood up straighter, and said, "My tactics have just been improved. Guards, take her to the ceremony. I want her to watch the show."

He gave her body a once over and turned. He walked out of the room as two stormtroopers entered. They grabbed Nara's arms and pulled her, following Hux. She didn't fight against them, it wouldn't end well for her. Sometimes, she could pick her battles.

As they roughly pulled her forward again, she yelled to Hux, "Where are you taking me?!"

He called back, saying he would explain after the show.

"What show? I have no interest to watch some First Order propaganda. I will _never_ join you," she yelled at him again.

That made him stop in his tracks. His back tightened and his hands became fists. When he turned, he stormed in front of her.

His leather-gloved hand was wound back and connected his her cheek with extreme strength.

"The First Order is far better off without a pathetic slave in its midst. The only reason you're even here is because Kylo Ren misjudged his own powers; you're a disturbance. However, you're still a prisoner. And I'd hate for someone like you to miss something like this. Now keep your mouth shut."

Her face was stinging, and now she feared what she was going to see. General Hux is much more despicable than he appears.


	4. Chapter 4: Afraid

She could hear the words he was saying, they rang in her ears like a conscience. But she couldn't understand their meaning. They didn't make any sense; how could they destroy the entire Republic?

"All remaining systems will bow to the First Order and will remember this as the last day of the Republic!" His words rang throughout the planet.

In synchronized motion, the stormtroopers raised their hands in salute to General Hux. When Hux screamed "Fire!", Nara finally stopped squirming in the stormtroopers grasp. She was behind all the First Order Lieutenants and Officers. She was so close to the wrong people, she was even dressed like them.

The noise was deafening. The rumble became a roar so fast. The red light exploded out of the planet in front of her. She swears she could feel the energy. Her knees became weak when the sky turned into a blood red. Even the stormtroopers seemed to be in awe.

She didn't scream, she could only watch.

 _The Republic is going to be destroyed._

She fell onto her knees when the guards released her arms. She hardly noticed they had let go of her. Her throat was dry, if she could scream, it wouldn't be audible. She felt like her heart stopped, and her blood froze.

And all she could think about was running.

 _Running…_

She looked around her & noticed, not a single officer was watching her. They wouldn't notice anything, not with the red glare of the power of the First Order.

She started to run. She ran down the steps, and into the white forest. Nara looked behind her and saw no one was running after her. No one saw her escape.

 _Now I just need to find a ship, learn to fly it, and then escape. Yeah, right._

They'd notice eventually, if not within the next few minutes. Nara knew that she would have to get as far as she could right now while she had the advantage of distraction. She looked ahead of her, still running through the deep snow. She was breathing fast, but didn't notice her hunger or her thirst. SHe only knew that ahead of her wasn't even close to freedom. It was survival.

 _But… that's not very different from what I'm used to._

The red was starting to dissipate, maybe soon she'd be able to breathe.

 _How could Ben do this?_

She mentally slapped herself. That wasn't Ben. SHe remembered the cold stare he gave her. She could still feel him in her head.

She rounded around another tree and saw a series of rocks. SHe knew how to start fires, although it was so cold here. There was no way to keep warm with just her dark clothes.

She got to the small cave and sat down, legs crossed and started rubbing her arms for warmth.

 _It's so cold…_

"What am I doing?!" she screamed, throwing a rock against the cave wall.

"I can't survive out here," she cried out, she held her knees to her chest and cried into her knees. What was the point anyway? Nara almost missed Jakku, at least it was warm. SHe thought about the endless sand and looked out into the endless white and trees.

 _I can't do this anymore._

 _XXX_

"You lost a slave?" questioned the mechanical voice.

"My _troops-_ "

"Your troops are utterly useless, General. I want her found, now," ordered Kylo Ren, his stature dominating that of General Hux.

"That slave is of no important, or did you lose sight of what was _really_ important?" asked Hux, stopping his pace.

Kylo Ren didn't stop to waste anymore time with Hux. He had to take that filthy scavenger to the Supreme Leader first. His failures were piling on top of him. He felt the pressure that Snoke placed on him. He should have known better than leaving that planet without the droid. Or he should've been harder on the scavenger.

 _Seeing Nara made me soft._

He admitted that he was a little relieved that she wasn't here, although being out there for too long is deadly.

 _I don't have time for this!_

He forced his mind away from Nara and focussed on his current task.

He walked into the empty interrogation room.

 _No… she's not here. How could this happen?!_

"No…" he open his saber and released his anger the only way her knew how. He tore apart of walls with his crisp weapon, and destroyed the chair.

 _Damn it! She's gone. They're both gone. Snoke is going to…._

But he couldn't think about Snoke. He only thought about Nara, young Nara.

 _XXX_

" _Ben!" he heard her scream out from afar._

 _He was hiding inside a large tree trunk, covered in bugs and moss. But he didn't care, as long as he was away from home. Anywhere was better than there._

" _Ben, come out, I knew you're in there!" she chuckled from right outside._

" _Go away," he mumbled through his tears._

 _He heard the girl climbing up the tree, but she fell and hit the ground._

" _Ow!" he heard Nara yell out._

 _He groaned and jumped down onto the ground with ease. She was laying on her back, looking up at him. His dark hair was wild, no doubt from him running his hands through it. He was stressed and hurt, she could tell._

 _He laid down next to her, a tear running down his cheek. No one else ever saw him cry, especially not his family._

" _Don't cry," she said, turning onto her stomach to look at him._

 _He wiped away the tear and looked at her, her bright blonde hair completely different than his darkness._

" _My dad left again."_

 _She looked at the grass she was laying on, and said, "Maybe it's a good thing. It looks like your mom needed a break." She remembered Leia's crying from the other day when her and Han were fighting._

" _No. They need a break from me. It's all my fault," he said, looking up at the blue sky._

 _He couldn't believe the decision his parents made without his opinion. And he couldn't believe that he would have to say goodbye to his best friend._

" _I'm leaving for awhile," he said, waiting for her to freak out or start crying._

 _The pang of his words hit her chest, but she couldn't react. She looked at her, questions screaming out of her eyes when her voice couldn't._

" _I'm going with my uncle to train. My mom wants me to learn how to control… it."_

 _She thought about his powers and how sometimes he would scare himself with what he could do. He would always be bullied for his powers, they made him different._

" _Oh… can I come with you?" she asked, scooting closer to her friend._

 _He wished she could go. But he was different, she wasn't. She was normal, average. He was extraordinary and omnipotent. He wished he never was, he wished his own father wasn't scared of him._

" _You know you can't," he said, rising to his feet. "I hate that they're sending me away. They didn't even ask!"_

 _Nara stood up quickly, knowing what was going to happen._

" _And my dad just leaves, again! He didn't even say good-bye!"_

 _The tree Ben was hiding in before, broke in half in an imperfect vertical line. Branches came raining down, specifically on top of Nara. Leaves and branches hit, and she yelped._

" _Nara!" yelled Ben, running towards his friend_

 _He picked her up, and took her to a flat stone. He set her down very gently and looked at her wounds._

" _Ben, I'm fine," she said, sitting up straight._

 _He ignored her, or just didn't hear her. He was focussing on the small, but deep cut on her forearm._

 _She watched him as he intensely inspected her wound, his eyes didn't leave her arm. But she could feel his guilt radiating off of him. He was holding onto her elbow as if it would fall off if he let go. A part of him believed it would fall off_ if _he touched her at all._

" _Ben, really, I'm fine! It's not a big deal," she ripped her arm out of his grasp and looked at the wound herself._

 _It was small, although it was bleeding. Her blood made her feel a little queasy,but she kept it together._

" _I'm… I'm sorry," he said, taking a step back. He put his hands behind his back and took another step._

" _No, no, Ben, it's okay. It doesn't hurt," she smiled at him as she spoke._

 _He shook his head and looked at his feet. Nara stood up and reached behind him to grab his hands They were cold, despite the warmth in the air. SHe tried to bring them to his front, instead of cowering away from them. He fought against her efforts. Nara gave him a look that could pierce through diamond._

 _He let his arms go limp, letting her hold his hands._

" _I am not afraid of you," she said in a soft voice._

" _You should be. I hurt you. I-"_

 _She dropped his hands and reached around his neck. Her hold was tight, he had to step back just to not fall over._

" _Nara…" he felt his cheeks turn red, he was kind of grateful that she couldn't see his face._

" _Shut up," was all she said, her smile turning into tears._

 _To him, she was melting away the fear and guilt. And he had to say goodbye to his friend, the only person to always be there._

XXX

The air seemed to be so cold that her lungs were frozen solid. Her breath was just as solid. She was surprised her face could be so wet from tears without it chipping off. The sun seemed to be shining bright, but she couldn't shake rhe feeling that something worse was going to come.

 _What could possibly be worse at this point?_


	5. Chapter 5: Escape

When the battle started, Nara had already found herself hiding inside the Starkiller Base. It was her only option, the cold was going to kill her soon enough. Nara wasn't about to let herself die, not yet.

She could still hear the explosions, even from inside. Although, she doubted whoever was trying to destroy the place, actually would. The First Order is much more ruthless and powerful than she actually believed. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that the entire Republic was destroyed in an instant.

She thought about the millions of innocent lives lost, and the planets that would never be recovered because of anger and hate. The First Order was a power to be reckoned with. And she wasn't interested in the fight.

 _I'm going to get off this planet, and never speak to another soul about the war. I want nothing to do with it._

Nara felt guilty about that, but what could one slave girl do? Regardless of the years she spent with the Solo family, she thinks she was always destined to be nothing in the universe. She felt great love once in her life, but that was murdered a long time ago. Now, she can move on, and forget about everything else.

Sitting in a small room, knees to her chest, she waited. She didn't cry, she didn't move. She just waited for something to happen. Whether Kylo Ren walked through the door, or something worse, she couldn't be sure. She just waited for an opportunity.

As if on cue, the door started to slide open. Nara squeezed her eyes shut, and waited for the confrontation. To her surprise, she opened her eyes to another girl. She was wearing typical Jakku scavenger clothes. Which brought a smile to Nara's face.

When the other girl looked at Nara, an angry look appeared. She pointed her blaster at her.

"Don't shoot! I'm from Jakku too!" said Nara, standing and putting her hands up, to show she had no weapons.

The girl didn't say anything, she only continued to point the blaster. She looked confused, but harmless.

Nara looked down at herself and realized she was still wearing First Order uniform.

"No, no, I'm not with the First Order. They captured me on Jakku, I just escaped. Please believe me." pleaded Nara.

After a few silent moments, The other girl put down her blaster and said, "I believe you."

Nara sighed with relief and put her hands down. Nara stepped forward and put her hand out. She said, "My name is Nara."

She smiled in return, taking Nara's hand firmly.

"I'm Rey."

There was a moment where the two girls made eye contact, and knew that they could trust each other. It was an instant bond between them.

"Do you know how to fly… anything? We need to get off this planet," asked Nara, dropping rey's hand.

"I'm a pilot, we just need a ship," said Rey, holstering her blaster in the back of her pants.

Rey turned to exit the room, and Nara followed.

"Do you know where you're going?" whispered Nara.

"No," was all Rey said.

Nara watched how the girl moved. She trusted her instincts. Nara wasn't sure if that was something she wanted to put her trust into, but what other choice did she have?

They rounded another empty corner, and saw a huge space ahead of them, past the hallway. As they reached the end of the hall, Rey looked past the entry and saw a platoon of stormtroopers jogging towards them. They didn't seem to notice her. When they passed, Rey and Nara walked to the edge and found a ship near an exit.

Nara smiled and thought to herself, _We're actually going to make it!_

She looked at Rey, who had inspected the whole area in less than a moment. It was like she knew exactly where she was going and what to do, without actually knowing.

"We need to climb down this, and sneak to the ship through the hanger. Can you do that?" asked Rey, who started down the vertical fall.

Nara looked past Rey, at the drop. Chills overcame her body, but she started to climb down next to Rey.

She held on to multiple random metal objects. Nara didn't dare look down at this point, or she'd get dizzy and full of fear.

"Pull that lever. Use your knees," ordered Rey in a soft voice.

Nara nodded, and pulled down on the lever. She heard a release of air, and an energy hold opened. Rey climbed through, Nara followed. It was pitch black after the door closed, but Nara listened to Rey 's movements and followed. She felt more secure inside there than outside, at least.

"Why did you get taken by the First Order?" ased Rey, who was trying to calm down Nara.

Nara thought about the question and wondered if she should tell Rey about Kylo Ren and her past with him.

"Kylo Ren thought I knew where Luke Skywalker was, so he took me and interrogated me. When he couldn't find anything, he left me in some room. General Hux was the one who was careless enough to let me escape during the destruction of the Republic."

Rey had pulled another lever, making another door open. Nara smiled and followed rey out the opening.

"I saw the map to Luke Skywalker. Kylo Ren took me when he... " started Rey, who was watching our surroundings.

Nara nodded, knowing what Kylo Ren did to receive such information.

"Did he… did he get the map?" asked Nara, hoping the answer would be hell no.

"No, he wasn't able to."

Nara sighed with relief. _What kind of girl is this? She resisted Kylo Ren's power?_

Nara and Rey jogged around another corner, but Rey almost ran into a man, and instantly pointed her blaster at them

"Are you alright?" Said another man, the voice Nara recognized instantly.

She turned the corner and saw the face of an older Han Solo.

Nara's eyes went wide. _Han Solo._

"Han…?" she said, making theman turn towards her. He was shocked, that much anyone could tell.

"Nara? What are you doing here?" he asked, worry in his voice.

She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around him. It had been years since she has seen him. Not since he told her about Ben being killed.

Remembering the lie she was told, she let go of him and resisted the urge to slap him.

"You lied to me."

Han, still shocked, was instantly filled with regret.

Nara heard Chewie whimper, and she understood his was overfilled with hurt but also happiness. The only real father she ever knew was standing right in front of her. Nara looked at his face and saw his pain. _We both lost him._

She hugged him again and said, "It's okay."

Han hugged her back, and finally, Nara felt security and hope that they would escape.

He released Nara, and said, "I'll explain everything to you later. We need to get out of here."

Han went up to Rey and the other man, and told them the same thing. Nara jogged next to Rey and asked, "You know Han Solo?"

Rey only nodded and continued to scan the area. She was smiling, but holding her blaster close.

When they reached outside, Nara was instantly reminded of how cold this planet was. She looked at the sky and saw the battle unfolding. An X-wing was hit and crash landed on the ground. Visually, Nara could tell that the Resistance fighters were outnumbered already.

"They're in trouble. We can't leave," said Han, confirming Nara's theory. "My friend has a bag of explosives, let's use them."

Fear overcame Nara, and the the instinct to run took her over. Nara wrapped her arms around herself and said, "We just need to escape, Han. This isn't our fight right now!"

"They need our help," said the man that Nara didn't recognize.

Rey looked at the man as if she had never seen him before. Nara breathed in deep and sighed. This was her only escape anyway.


	6. Chapter 6: Death

They started running towards another building. Han shouted orders at Rey and Finn, to open the doors to the building. Nara volunteered to go with Han and Chewie, trusting them with her life instead of two people she didn't know. Also, she wanted to be near Han anyway. She missed him and the security he brought with him.

When they entered the building, Han saw stormtroopers and instantly fired at them. He missed, and they started firing back. Nara hid behind Chewie, not having a weapon herself. Han had finally hit one of them, and Chewie shot from his crossbow. The explosion shot back another troop. Han fired one more shot, clearing the area.

We waited at a door, for Rey and Finn to complete their task.

"Nara, how did you get here?" asked Han, who was leaning against the wall.

Nara burrowed her brows together, and said, "Be- Kylo Ren saw me on Jakku. He thought I knew where Luke was."

Nara didn't look at Han, she couldn't look at him while she stuttered on his name.

"I'm sorry, Nara." was all he said.

What else could he say? There's no rule book on how to deal with a son that went to the dark side. Nara understood that this must have destroyed him. Watching his only son do the one thing that Han feared his whole life.

"There's just too much Vader in him." mumbled Nara, to herself mostly, but Han could hear her.

"Leia asked me to bring him home," said Han, hoping that Nara could somehow give him reassurance that the deed could be done.

Nara shook her head, and couldn't find the words to describe how impossible that would be. But she couldn't find anything, she looked at Han's face. It was aged, his once luscious hair had turned white. She knew she loved him like a father. How could she tell him that his son was gone?

The door that they were waiting for opened, and Nara followed them down a narrow corridor. Ahead of them was a huge empty hole, on the walls were hundreds of devices. Nara didn't know what they were for, but she assumed they needed to destroy this place. Ahead of them was a walkway, leading over the deep hole.

The three decided that splitting up and setting up the explosives would be better. Han ordered Nara to follow him. They walked down a flight of stairs, and Han said, "You go over there, set up as many on the pillars as you can. Meet me back here."

Nara nodded and took her share of the explosives. She didn't want to do this, but she needed to help Han.

She watched Han go to the left while she stayed to the right. After setting up 5 or so explosives, she heard a door open. She hid behind a pillar and listened to the many heavy footsteps. She prayed that it wouldn't be him.

She looked around, and, much to her disappointment, saw Kylo Ren surrounded by stormtroopers. She was close enough to hear him say, "Find them."

The troops dispersed, and Nara hid again. She couldn't risk being seen. As the troops jogged past her, she turned and hid again. When she did, she was to the right of the walkway over the gap. She watched as Kylo Ren started towards her direction, but abruptly turning to walk across it.

She looked past him, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her breath was stuck in her throat and she saw as Han couldn't look away from him.

 _I need to stop him._

When Han started walking towards the walkway, Nara grabbed his arm and whispered, "Don't do it, Han."

He took his eyes off of Kylo Ren for a moment and looked at her instead. His eyes were filled with pain. He didn't even hear her. He was looking straight through her.

He mumbled, "He's my son."

Han ripped his arm out of Nara's grasp, and started walking towards him.

"Ben!" he screamed. Kylo Ren stopped.

Nara's heart was beating a million times per second, but the rest of the body froze. She watched Kylo Ren turn and face him, his robe was blowing with the wind.

"Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

Nara heard the loading of blasters behind her, but she didn't give them a thought. She knew that everyone in the room could feel the intensity of the moment.

"Take off that mask. You don't need it," yelled Han to his son.

"What do you think you'll see if I do?" asked the mechanical, fake voice.

Nara felt her limbs move before she could stop them. She slowly started walking up to the plank of walkway, stopping just short of the last step. She wanted to hear him, and see him.

"The face of my son." was all han said.

 _Han hasn't given up yet…_

After a few more tense moments, Nara watched as he took off his mask. She saw his pale face again. But this time, she wasn't filled with pain or shock. She was filled with a strange sense of hope. Maybe seeing Han again would bring him into the light. Back to her, again. Nara couldn't feel pain right now, she felt pure hopefulness.

Ben's eyes were empty, but she could see the twinkle of sadness in them. She saw _him._

"Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him."

His words were like an arrow piercing her heart. But she could feel that he was lying. To Han, and himself. She felt a tear drop from her eye, but she ignored it. She didn't even want to blink. Or she'd miss a moment.

"My son is alive," said han, full of confidence.

Nara finally inhaled and exhaled, her body was working again. Why was she filled with such security? Why was she seeing Ben and not Kylo Ren this time?

 _I won't give up on him either._ She thought. She couldn't give up while there he was still alive. She took another step, she needed to be near him again.

Han got closer and closer to his son, and she could see ben shift back with uncomfortableness.

"It's too late," said Ben, the pain finally escaping his lips.

Her heart swelled, she only wanted to run up to her friend and wrap her arms around him again. She wanted him to know thatshe wasn't finished with him yet.

"Come home with me, with us," said Han.

Ben looked past Han at Nara, but he looked away, with shame written all over him. Nara shook her head, no, and took one more step.

 _He needs to know that I'm not done yet._

Ben inspected his father's face, memorizing every wrinkle, as if it would be the last time he saw it.

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?" His voice was breaking, while tears formed in his eyes.

"Yes, anything." said han, without a moment to think. He was going to be there for his son now, because he wasn't there when he was growing up.

Nara felt more tears as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She saw the mask that was in her nightmares, Ben's new identity, drop to the floor. As if it held no more power.

 _He's coming home._

Nara's chest filled with flutters, as Ben offered his lightsaber to his father. She smiled at the gesture and she finally wiped away her tears. She was about to take another step, when the sunlight disappeared.

His face turned red from the lights, he looked straight at her. Her smile disappeared, and was replaced with a gasp.

She stopped dead in her tracks, unable to move. He watched her, his eyes were filled, but he could see her. He saw the hope leave her face and be replaced with fear. He breathed in one more time, and looked back at Han Solo.

He pressed on his lightsaber, and pushed the blade into his father's chest. The crackling of the saber drowned out all other noise. Nara could only hear her heart breaking, and the blade.

Her body moved for her. She screamed out Han's name, and started running towards Han and Kylo Ren.

Nara heard Ben's voice say, "Thank you." and she saw as the blade was pulled out of Han's chest. Deep red blood was pouring out of his back. Han stood there for a moment, Ren, grabbing onto his arm. Nara saw Han put his hand up, and caress his son's cheek. He didn't pull away, Ren accepts the touch.

Nara finally got close, and put her hand out to catch han. But he was already falling. Out of Ben's grasp, and out of her reach.

"Han, no!" she screamed, she collapsed in front of Kylo Ren and reached out for Han. She watched as he fell. He didn't reach up for her, he only looked at her, pain and fear stamped permanently on his face.

That was the face that will always be plastered on Nara's memory of Han Solo.

She felt herself inhale and look away from the scene. She looked up at Kylo Ren. She saw him, she saw him as the child she grew up with, she saw the pain behind his eyes.

"Ben…" she mumbled, as she heard Chewie scream in wookie.

She looked at Chewie, as he lifted his crossbow and aimed at Kylo Ren.

"Chewie, no!" she screamed as she jumped up in front of Ben, shielding him from the blast. She felt the blast enter her left shoulder. Pain rippled throughout her body as she fell backwards into Kylo Ren's arms. He caught her, and was overwhelmed with surprise.

He didn't know what to do in that moment. He looked at the girl he hasn't seen in years and watched all his memories with her flood into his eyes. They day they met was suddenly vivid, the first time she had kissed his cheek, to make him stop crying because of his own fear of his powers. He saw the girl that loved him when no one else could, and he saw the woman that sacrificed herself for him.

He gripped on tighter to her, said said, "No, Nara, why..." He collapsed, she was nestled between his legs, her back was on his chest.

She looked from her wound to him and knew this would be the last time she saw him.

She tried to speak, but she tasted copper in her mouth. She felt like she was suffocating. She lifted her right hand and reached for his. Her vision was going black as she stared into his eyes.

 _I love you._ Was all she wanted to say, but she couldn't open her mouth without blood pouring out of it.

"Don't go, Nara, please, don't," he held on tighter, he buried his face in her neck and shoulder.

He felt her chest stop moving, and her heart stop beating. He felt the weight of her death on his shoulders and suddenly, didn't feel anything.

He was finally numb. He knew his task was finished. He rose, letting go of her. He took one last glance at her own empty eyes before turning towards his next mission, Rey.

 _I'm finishing this._ He thought to himself, before yelling and walking towards the girl.

Explosions made Nara's body glow, while Chewie lifted her and ran toward the Millennium Falcon. Ren


	7. Chapter 7: Recovery

" _Well I think your face is stupid too!" yelled the little girl at the dark boy._

 _The little boy started laughing, very hard. So much so that he had to bend over and hold his stomach because it started to hurt. His laugh was contagious, the girl started laughing too. Her laugh was more of a series of giggles, and it was music to his ears. He wouldn;t know how much he missed the laugh until it was gone. He wouldn't know what he cherished he laugh until it was replaced by tear and screams._

 _He watched her laugh, her teeth were pure white, her lips were pink and her face was now red. There was so much about this little girl that he didn't know he loved. And she, always knew that she loves the little boy._

 _The little boy was dark all around. His eyes, his hair, even his skin was a little tanned from how much time they spent adventuring around their forest. She always knew that she loved this boy. From his head to his feet, she loved him._

 _She even loved his dysfunctional family. That family was basically her family. The day that Han Solo had saved her from nappers, she would be forever grateful to him. Han Solo, known thief and smuggler, was her hero. She remembers the day perfectly. It was the best day of her life. She had thought that he was going to abandon her as well, but he cared for her. Along with his loving and caring wife, Leia Organa._

 _Back then, the little girl didn't know that saving her, was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to her._

 _But at this moment, she was happy. She was with her strange best friend, in a strange forest, doing strange things with him. If sh wanted an apple, he would use his special powers to get it for her. He did everything for her, and she did the same in turn._

 _You wouldn't think that the little girl with bright eyes would love the boy with dark hair. But she did, despite the looks and words spoken by the other kids that picked on him. They feared him. She didn't care. She was in love. With her brother, her best friend, and one day, her demise._

" _Hey Ben, do you love me?" she asked the boy, who was finally calming down._

 _He snorted and said, "Who else would I love, Nara?"_

 _She smiled, although the comment was a miserable one. At least he loved her too._

" _Promise you'll always love me?" she asked._

 _He was silent, but she knew his answer. He didn't have to say it. He smiled at her and started laughing again._

" _You're being dumb. Let's go already." he said, turning his back to her, and jogging towards another cave they had discovered._

 _She didn't move, she couldn't. Ben turned around to ask her why she wasn't following, when he saw that she as bleeding._

" _Nara!" he screamed, running to his friends side._

" _Ben," she cried out, falling onto her back._

 _By the time he reached her, her heart had stopped. Her eyes were still plastered open, he was staring at him._

 _He cried out for her again, but a figure came from behind a tree that was split in half. The figure was dark, and wielding a lightsaber, it was red, and clean._

 _Ben didn't understand what he was seeing. The figure walked up to the small body of Nara, and stabbed her in the chest._

" _No!" screamed the young Ben, running to the tall man._

 _The man pulled and extinguished the saber. He was standing silently, while the young Ben pushed him away from his friend._

 _The figure allowed him to push, but he didn't budge. He was too strong for Ben to get rid of. Suddenly, he grabbed Ben by the collar and lifted him to his level. Tears were pouring down his face._

" _You have only begun to discover your power…" his mask was black, as was his cape. He was black and dark._

 _His mechanical voice… Ben has heard it before. In his dreams, he's heard the voice. This figure could only be his grandfather._

 _Darth Vader._

" _Join me… we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy!"_

" _But… Nara... " whimpered ben, looking down at his friend, whose body had disappeared and was replaced with that of his father's._

" _No! Daddy!" screamed the little boy._

 _Darth Vader dropped the child and continued walking, ignoring the boy's cries. All alone, the boy held his father's face, crying. He looked back at his grandfather and, filled with despair, said , "I'll join you, grandfather."_

 _The figure didn't reply, only disappeared into the air. The boy was all alone._

Kylo Ren woke up, sweat covering his forehead. It was the same dream, over and over. Nara died, and his grandfather aided him, and took her out of her misery. The death of Han Solo plagued his mind.

Although, Kylo Ren had enough training to stop himself from feeling the pain of his death. He translated the pain into power and thus, became even more powerful than he even imagined. More powerful than Vader expected.

Kylo ren rose out of his bed, shoving his sheets to the side. He wiped off his face with the towel next to him, and went into his bathroom. He looked at his face in the mirror, the jagged scar running from his eye brows, to his jaw. He grew to appreciate the scar. He learned from it.

He shoved water on his face, and put on his uniform. His black uniform was similar to his grandfather's, although he didn't need it to survive. He wore it to put fear in the hearts of his enemies. Even in his allies.

He exited his room, not giving a second thought to empty face of his friend and father.

XXX

"The infection has spread, General Organa, there's nothing more that I can do," explained a doctor.

"You have to do something, doctor!" yelled the aged voice of the ex-princess Leia.

The doctor sighed and looked at the girl laying on his hospital bed. She wasn't wearing any clothes other than bandages covering her chest. He had done everything possible, to keep her as human as possible.

"Her wounds… Leia, you have to understand that I was barely able to get her heart to start pumping again. It's a miracle her's even alive. And now… the infection has taken over the left side of her body. The only thing I can even think about doing won't leave her very… human anymore," explain the doctor.

"What is it?" she asked.

The doctor rubbed his eyes, he was exhausting after staying awake for so long.

"I can replace her left lung and arm with robotic parts. She'd be losing her entire arm."

Without a second thought, Leia ordered him to finish the job.

With his hands tied, the doctor ordered his nurses to get Nara ready for the surgery. The doctor looked at Nara, and he felt pure pity for the girl. He didn't expect to get her heart started, but the device he put into her heart made it start pumping. Her brain function was normal when he got her body started. It was a 2 month process. She never woke up, which made his job all the worse. He wasn't sure if she would ever awake.

But he realized that the girl was a fighter. Maybe she was one of the most resilient patients he's ever had. The girl was a fighter, so he kept working on her. Leia had told him who she was, and that she owed her more than just dying. Chewbacca was also very hurt by it. The doctor couldn't understand him, but he could see the guilt in the creature's face.

It was only a week ago, that he noticed that an infection had gotten into her lung, and spread into the bloodstream. So far, it had only gotten into her arm, and lung. Ut if he didn't do anything, she would die. He didn't want her to wake up with a fake arm and lung, but Leia was specific that he needed to do everything in his power to make her live.

The doctor sighed, and left the room. He needed a moment before he manipulated her body into functioning.

He wasn't sure if she would be happy to live, or want to die when she wakes. Now a days, he wonders that about most of his patients.

 _XXX_

 **Hi! I'm really surprised by how many people have this so far! But I love it!**

 **This is a pretty slow romance, but I promise that it will get better. I really like the friend thing first, love comes later! But it'll be juicy…**

 **Please review! Tell me what you think:)**


	8. Chapter 8: Paradise

_The sun was setting, and he was holding her to his chest, like always. They were silent, because they no longer needed to speak; they always knew what the other was thinking. His firm arms wrapped around her waist, and her soft hands on top of his own, she couldn't imagine life without these moments. They were simple, but that's all she wanted. No war, no fight, no darkness and no light. It was blissful. His hair was going to become grey one day, and her skin would become wrinkles. But that was okay. All they needed, was each other._

 _The forest around them was turning green because of the upcoming Spring. All the snow was gone, and the sky was pink. It was quite a scene. He watched her. Her green eyes resembling their forest, and her lips mimicked the sky. He loved her, and she knew it._

 _When the sun finally settled, they didn't move away from each other. They just laid there together, holding on as if they would slip away from existence._

" _This isn't real, is it?" She asked him, her voice was as smooth as silk._

 _He didn't reply, he just held her tighter._

" _If this is my heaven, then I don't want to live again." She confessed._

 _She shut her eyes, and let him hold her. This was all she ever wanted._

" _Nara, you're not finished yet," he told her._

" _But I want to be. I'm so tired, Ben."_

" _You have to let go, Nara. Let me let you go."_

 _She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to tell him that she didn't want to ever leave his side. She was finally happy, why couldn't she just leave it at that?_

 _But then the memories came back to her. Han Solo was dead, and she jumped in front of Ben, to save him._

" _I saved you…" She said, remember her exact movements._

" _Why?" Asked Ben._

" _Because no one else would save you. I had to."_

" _Is that the truth?" He asked again._

 _She was a little annoyed that he would doubt her motivation, but maybe it wasn't the truth._

 _Suddenly, her arm became numb. She felt a little panic, she couldn't move her arm. The numbness spread from the tips of her fingers, up her forearm, up to her shoulder, and then down her rib cage. But Ben held her tighter, and her panic subsided. She was at peace._

" _Nara, open your eyes." Whispered Ben, nuzzling his face into her neck and shoulder._

 _Opening her eyes scared her. Her paradise would vanish and be replaced with truth. She preferred the world she created in her head than the galaxy that was doomed._

" _No… Don't make me." She cried out._

" _Nara, you need to open your eyes. Please come back to us," Ben voice had changed into a woman's, an unfamiliar voice._

 _Panic began to take her over again. She still felt the pressure around her waist from Ben's grasp, but it was no longer comforting. It was suffocating. She felt like she couldn't get enough oxygen, but she was breathing perfectly fine._

" _It'll be okay. Just open your eyes, dear," said the woman._

 _She started thrashing, but Ben wouldn't let go of her. She was swinging her dead arm around, and the other was trying to rip off Ben's hold on her. She felt like it was harder and harder to keep her eyes closed._

 _The voice wasn't familiar, but Nara didn't fear it. She feared the reality. The perfect world she had imagined would be falling away from her into the untraceable part of her mind._

 _She trashed until finally, she gave in. She felt air enter her lungs, and she opened her eyes to blinding light._

"Nara! Nara, can you hear me?" Asked the voice.

There was nothing but light. Her eyes were adjusting. She hadn't used them in so long.

"Where am I?" Asked Nara, her mouth was dry and awkward.

"You're on the Resistance base, medical wing. We're taking care of you, just try to breathe." Said a male voice that Nara didn't recognize.

While her eyes adjusted, she saw a light above her, and many medical instruments she knew nothing about.

"Nara, can you tell me what you remember?" Asked a nurse, who was tightening the wrap that surrounded her body. It was tight, she couldn't move her arms. She couldn't see any part of her body.

 _What I… Remember?_

It all came at her at once, in an instant.

 _Kylo Ren killed the old man. Kylo Ren invaded her mind. Kylo Ren was Ben. They destroyed the Republic system. Ben killed Han. Ben killed Han. Ben killed Han! Ben killed… I saved Ben. I got shot. I… Died?_

She didn't realize it, but her heart beat raced faster and faster until it was out of control. They had to restart her heart. The electricity was sent throughout her body.

"Nara, you have to calm down. Your heart can't take anymore trauma." Warned the male voice.

Nara assumed that it was the voice of the Doctor.

"Nara, I need you to tell me what you remember," asked the nurse again.

"I remember everything," she said, bringing her eyes to their faces.

The doctor had black circles around his blue eyes, while the nurse he typical bright red lipstick and a blonde up style. They both looked tired, Nara wondered how much effort they put into her. She only could've been asleep for a few days.

"That's great, Nara, that's really good news. Now we're going to explain to you what has happened, and you need to remain calm. You need to continue breathing as normally as possible, can you do that?" Explained the doctor in a very calm voice.

The calmness of the voice made Nara worry, but said, "Just tell me."

The doctor went on to explain how the blast had nicked her heart, and punctured her lung. Her heart had stopped beating. She had been legally dead for hours before the doctor was able to install a device in her heart that made it beat. The doctor told her that an infected she had received had penetrated a controllable blood stream. They had isolated it. The only way to get rid of it, however, drastic measures had to be taken.

Nara intensely tried to listen to her heart. It wasn't any different, but she knew that it was a completely different system now. It made her feel strange to know that there was a foreign object in her chest.

"What measures had to be taken?"

The nurse glanced at the doctor, but he didn't break contact with Nara. The nurses less nurturing look on her face didn't make Nara feel anymore calm.

"The only way to be rid of the infection… Was to replace your left arm, lung, and rib cage with mechanics."

Nara heard the words, but they didn't make any sense. It _sounded_ like the doctor just told her that she no longer had her own arm or lung or rib cage anymore. But that couldn't be what he actually meant.

"You… You cut off my arm? That doesn't make any sense," said Nara, who tried moving her left arm. She realized that it wouldn't move.

"I did everything I could to save your arm, but the infection was too deep. We will teach you how to adjust to the changes, but the work is on you now. Nothing will be fixed if you don't adjust, do you understand?" He explained, an apology was on the tip of his tongue.

But how screwed up would the world have to be for a doctor to apologize for saving a life?

Nara breathed in deep, feeling the air enter her lungs. She felt the jagged movement of her left lung, expanding and deflating. It felt strange, but had she not known about it, probably wouldn't have noticed.

"I want to see it," she ordered.

"We don't think-" started the doctor but was interrupted by an older woman clearing her throat behind him.

He sighed, knowing exactly who it was. He had told her to wait before she adjusted to the changes to visit Nara. Seeing someone that was as important in her life as Leia claims, would be too much of a shock. Especially considering the emotional trauma Nara would have to deal with when the shock wears off.

But, unavoidably, the doctor moved to the side, to allow her access to Nara.

"Nara. It's been so long." Said the old woman.

Nara's heart instantly started racing.

 _Leia. Leia Solo. Your son. He killed Han. You lied to me. You lied to me about my best friend._

"Get out! Get out! Get her out of here. I don't want to see you, get out!" She kept screaming.

Leia's heart dropped, and she exited the room. The nurse had injected something into Nara's I.V. to calm her heart down instantly, they couldn't risk shocking the device again.

When Nara caught her breathe, she asked, "Don't let that woman back in here."

Internally, the doctor smiled at himself. He knew he was right, maybe now the General would listen to his advice.

He promised Nara that she could see the changes slowly. He wanted her to sit with the truth before actually seeing it. There were multiple cases where the patient would try to remove the new appendage themselves because of shock. He wouldn't allow that on this girl.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked the doctor.

"You've been in a coma for roughly two months. It's been a rough ride, but you came out on the other side. Now, you only need to adjust." Said the doctor with a reassuring smile.

Nara nodded, a little put off by the amount of time that has gone by. The doctor ordered her to go back to sleep, and that they would continue counseling tomorrow after she had slept for a few hours.

"I have one more question!" She yelled, right before the doctor left the room.

He turned and smiled again.

"Where is Ben? Did he… He came back with me?" She asked, hoping for the answer that would make all of this easier.

"Nara. I'm going to say this once, and then I don't want to say it again, okay?" Started the doctor, in a sad but peaceful voice. "Ben died a long time ago, and you know that. Kylo Ren… No one has seen him since the destruction of the Starkiller Base. And as far as you're concerned, he believes you're dead. And my advice is to use that against him, understand?"

 _He disappeared? He's gone?_

Nara nodded, finding herself in an empty room. The reality hadn't hit her, but that didn't stop the tears from crashing down her cheeks.


	9. Chapter 9: Training

*Some time later*

"Master Ren. We were unable to stop the Reaper." Informed one of the Knights to Master Kylo Ren.

The Reaper, nicknamed for her strange fighting style, has been slowly but surely interrupting First Order advance into the inner rings of the Galaxy. The Reaper has been sabotaging their mining fields, supplies, and has even killed multiple high level officers. Her only goal to make the First Order work harder for complete control.

Ren turned slowly away from his charts, and looked at him.

He had suspected that the Reaper was skilled, but not skilled enough to fight off the Knights of Ren.

"We underestimated her." He said, his voice deep and menacing.

He ordered the knight to get his ship ready; he was going to deal with this annoyance himself.

XXX

She looked at herself in the mirror and fought the urge to throw up. She had never fought a Knight of Ren before, little lone two of them at once. They were sent to eliminate her. As if it would be that easy.

Her shoulder felt a little sore, the fight had been epic. She fought with all her training, and managed to escape them before either killed the other.

"Nara, it's time for you to report to the General." Said one of her droids.

Nara took one last glance in the mirror. Her face had matured, her life was finally affecting her appearance.

She sighed and slipped on her mask. She took up the look, the idea coming from Kylo Ren. If he could put fear into the hearts of his enemies by hiding his face, so could she. No one in the First Order has seen her face, and that's how she wanted it.

In some small way, it was her secret weapon.

She didn't have to wear it around the Resistance base, but since she was going to see Leia, she'd rather wear it.

In the past, Nara was able to forgive her for lying about Ben and his death. But that didn't mean that she had to respect her as she once did. She respected her as her General, but not as her fake mother who used to care for her.

She passed by some Resistance pilots and various others. They looked at her warily. Maybe of the people here didn't agree with her motives or her work ethic. They saw her as their last resort. There was a reason she was nicknamed the Reaper.

She walked with pride, though. She felt her outfit protruded enough confidence by itself.

She wore a long grey cape wrapped around her neck and off of her robotic arm, which was covered with white plastic guards. Her regular arm was also covered with white armor. Her uniform was similar to that of a stormtrooper's, but slimmer and she had much more flexibility. Her mask was white, with a black visor that allows 360 degrees of vision. It took some getting used to, but she learned how to interpret the images from the mirrors inside. Her swords were strapped to her waist.

She walked towards the control room, but noticed Doctor Seamore, the doctor who gave her her life back. Well, at least made her live again. Her old life was untouchable now.

"Doctor, it's good to see you," she said, walking up behind the aged man. Her voice was mechanical as well to mask her voice, but it wasn't quite as frightening.

For a moment, she saw Han Solo in him.

He couldn't tell, but she smiled. He held out his hand to shake hers.

He couldn't believe what his star achievement had turned into. He thought back at the day she saw her arm & wouldn't stop crying for hours afterwards.

"And you, Nara. It's been some months. I heard about what you did back on (insert planet). I believed it was nicknamed the 'Blood of Oil Attack'?" He said, referring to Nara's previous mission of attacking oil mines that the First Order had finally stolen from the native inhabitants.

"Well, that is what happens when you order an entire planet to serve under you. I'm surprised it had a nickname though." She shook his hand with strength, to show respect.

"Doctor, if it's not too much trouble, could you look at the attachment you put into my arm? I need to know if it's ready." She said, quieter to him.

He smirked and said, "See me tonight, I'll take a look at it."

She nodded and said her good-byes. The general needed to know what happened with the Knights.

Nara wasn't sure if her efforts to make the First Order struggle was enough for Snoke to order them to kill her, but they failed to it with troops. She suspected that, soon, she would have to face Kylo Ren. The idea gave her stomach a knot, but she ignored it. She had trained hard everyday for the ability to fight highly trained soldiers. Although, no one had seen him until a little over a month ago.

He must finally be ready and finished with his training. He would be even more powerful now.

But so am I.

She felt out of place as she entered the control room. Everyone watched her; she made them anxious. Nara never thought that having power would fill her full of a strange mix of pride and shame.

"Nara!" Yelled the familiar voice of Poe Dameron.

He seemed to be the only pilot who didn't doubt her motives. He saw her as an equal.

She walked over to him, General Organa by his side. The old woman had her hair in two buns, the same style that she always had used.

"Nara, what's your report?" She asked, keeping things professional.

"Can I speak privately to you, please?" She said, while noticing that the officers in the room were curious about what had happened. They hadn't heard any news from the First Order yet.

Leia nodded and motioned for her to follow her. Nara nodded at Poe, who had a worried look. The general led her to her private quarters.

When the door had shut, Nara said, "They sent Knights of Ren after me."

Leia breathed in deep and asked, "You weren't hurt?"

"No. I fought against them, and got away after I set their rations ablaze. They're starting to see me as a threat. I need Rey," explained Nara.

"They're going to send Kylo Ren after you now, especially after you bested some of his men" Said Leia, who looked deep in thought.

She didn't like talking about him with her. It made her feel like they actually had a common interest.

"Are you not listening to me? I need Rey, it's time we joined forces." She said with ferocity in her voice.

Nara and Rey had trained side by side, mostly weapons and some meditation. Nara left early after Luke had taught her what he could. She wasn't force sensitive, making some of the training more difficult. But she learned patience, and she learned a lot of skill. Rey had to stay longer, being a padawan, she had to learn the ways of the force. The two had grown a strong bond together, Nara considered her a close friend.

Finn had disappeared after waking up, no one really knows where he went. Rey never talked about him.

"Rey isn't finished training yet, you know that. Nara, please take off the mask, you know it makes many people uncomfortable," asked Leia, who sat down on her bed.

She was old now. This war had taken even more youth from her.

Nara rolled her eyes, but complied with the request.

"You can't kill him, Nara," said Leia, her voice cracking under her depression.

Nara didn't reply. Killing Kylo Ren wouldn't be an easy task to begin with, even despite her personal opinions of him.

"Nara, please, talk to me," asked Leia, who reached out to grab Nara's hand.

Nara ripped her hand out of reach and said, "I have nothing to say to you."

The strength of her voice surprised even her. Nara turned away and left the room. She had given her report, she was finished.

She was scared earlier, terrified even when she saw the Knights of Ren. She thought she was going to die. But she found the strength to fight against them. They were powerful, although she suspected that they weren't trained with the force yet. They hadn't even tried to use it against her.

Unless they weren't force sensitive at all.

That couldn't be possible. Snoke wouldn't waste his time on men that couldn't hold their own.

Nara found herself on the outside of the base, in the forest. From where she was, she could see the blue sky, the endless trees, and the base behind her. She found that being alone in the forest helped her think about her next mission.

However, today, she was thinking about what she would do when she finally saw Kylo Ren. She hadn't seen him in so long, not since he had killed Han. She still felt sad about his unexpected death, but she accepted he was gone.

It wasn't the same for Ben Solo, however. When asked why she had saved him, she didn't think her answer was the truth. Now, she knows why she saved him.

Because she loved Ben Solo. And for a moment, a small little moment, she saw him. She saw Ben, and she couldn't let him be killed.

But could she kill Kylo Ren, without feeling it to her core? This had been the question on her mind since she had started training. She still didn't have an answer.

She had asked Luke his opinion, but he didn't have an answer either. Even he couldn't kill Ben when he had first went dark.

She looked up at the sky and decided that, when the time comes, she will do what she can against Kylo Ren.


	10. Chapter 10: Change

**BlueAngel: You have no idea how much your reviews mean to me! Thank you so much for your support! Please let me know what you think about the next chapter I'm posting, it's going to be... Freakin' intense!**

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 **3 you all!**

XXX

"Do _you have to leave today?" She asked him, her face parallel to the ground._

 _He sighed. Ben was wearing his favorite black tank top, with brown baggy meditation pants. Ben's black hair was shaggy, like always. His back was to Nara. He seemed taller to her today. He seemed broader. He even looked older._

 _Today, Nara had to say goodbye to him. It wasn't something she had prepared for; neither of them had. Ben found it easy to say goodbye to his mother and father, the most he got from Han was a pat on the back._

 _But, he couldn't even look Nara in the eye. He was in so much pain, leaving her alone here. He loved her, of course. But saying the words was foreign to him._

" _Ben, you two have 10 minutes," said Han, yelling into the room. His hair had just started greying, but it still had its sleek brown shine to it._

 _Ben heard Nara whimper. He groaned and turned to her. He absolutely hated when she cried. It made him feel as if it was his job to make her smile again. It's not like anyone else would try._

 _"Nara, I'll see you again, it'll go by so quickly. I promise, okay?" He said, grabbing her shoulders and bending down to look her in the eye._

 _Her green eyes were even more vibrant when she cried. Her hair was in her face, and made her appear more miserable. Her cheeks were pink, and puffy. She had been crying all day._

 _His dark eyes pierced into hers. Then they wandered down to her cut, i_ t _was healing fine, but it was still pink._

 _"You promise you'll come back for me?" She asked him. Her voice was weak and dried out._

 _"I promise I'll come back for you, Nara." He put her head to his chest and hugged her._

 _She hugged him back around his sides. A part of her thought that if she hugged him tight enough, he wouldn't be able to leave. She would miss him too much for her to handle it._

He _felt her hug him tighter. Now, he was fighting back his own tears. He could already feel the hole in his heart start to widen. He would miss her, more than she knew._

 _"Ben. It's time to go," called Leia, who walked in on the sad, sad scene._

 _She looked at the two and realized that all they really had were each other their whole lives. Lea vowed to take care of this girl as if she was her daughter. She would take of her, because Ben wouldn't be around to do it._

 _Leia didn't want to rip them apart, but Ben's powers were getting too out of control. He needed to learn the Jedi ways. She hated to admit it, but she feared his potential._

 _When Leia left the room, Nara had started to let go. Ben refused to release her. He wanted one more moment with her. He suddenly felt scared. He was afraid of being alone, he was afraid of leaving her._

 _"It'll be okay." She said, taking him out of his anxious trance._

 _"You promised you'll come back. So I'll see you again, one day. It'll be okay, Ben."_

 _Her words made his eyes instantly start watering. They were exactly what he needed to hear. He lifted his head, and placed his lips on her forehead. The kiss was simple, and pure._

 _Nara closed her eyes when he kissed her. She valued the feeling she got from it. Her chest was filled with butterflies flying around. The wings brushed against her heart and sent shockwaves throughout her body._

 _The most simple thing he could have done, was something she'll cherish for the rest of her life._

 _"I love you," he mumbled on her head._

 _She breathed in deep and was about to reply, but he released her. Grabbing his pack, he turned away from her and left the room. Her heart broke in half in an instant, and she felt like she couldn't walk. She wanted to run to him and say it back. But that was his goodbye, it was the only way he knew how; just vanishing._

XXX

Nara reached the outside of Doctor Seamore's tent, suddenly nervous to try out her new ability. It had its risk to herself, but more often, it was a risk to her enemies. The move would surprise them, which is her favorite thing to do.

She found that the element of surprise was the best way to overpower an enemy.

She breathed in the cold night air and entered the tent. She could see that the Doctor was reading something, he didn't know she was in the room.

"Doctor, are you ready?"

Her voice made him jump. She wasn't wearing her mask, so her sweet sounding honey voice eliminated any real threat.

"You can't scare an old man like that, Nara," he chuckled, with his hand to his chest.

Nara glanced down at her robotic hand, the metal fingers glistening in the candle light. She could have had fake skin applied, but her skilled proved to be too rapid for the skin. She never liked the way it felt anyway, it felt like wearing skin tight leather that you couldn't remove.

"Sorry, sir. Would you like to get this done?" She said, referring to her training.

When the doctor nodded his approval, she unclipped her swords. The swords were one edged, and they curved outward, the blade on the wider side. Surrounding the edges, electricity crackled. This made her able to fight against light sabers; an unusual trait.

The idea came from when Jedi were organized and worked for the senate. Many people found that they wanted a weapon to use against a light saber, in case they had turned against them. It was an excellent idea, and Nara had searched long for a good pair of swords to alter.

"Hand me your swords," said Seamore.

Nara did as she was told. Seamore inspected the pieces, eyes going from the top of the curvature, to the base of the plastic handle. He looked at the swords as if they was speaking to him.

Nara felt awkward, she didn't want other people to touch her weapons. She wasn't sure why, but she felt that they were a part of her now. All the time training, you get to know your weapon, you learn how to slice it, the amount that it weighs, you learn its personality. And her twins were special to her.

Suddenly, the doctor started walking outside with her swords. Confused, Nara followed.

"What are you-" said Nara, as Seamore threw her weapons, making them stuck inside of a tree, side by side.

"Seamore!" Groaned Nara as she walked to retrieve them.

The doctor stopped her, by putting his arm in front of her.

"Press on your arm. The device needs hard, impactful pressure in order to work. Be firm," he ordered her.

Nara looked at her arm. This was the first time she was going to try it out, she hoped it would be flawless the first time.

She slapped her right hand onto her left forearm. The swords started vibrating rapidly, until one of them flew from the tree to her side, she had to jump out of the way just to make it so it wouldn't hit her. The other was released from the tree as well, and made her jump to the other side, just as quickly.

"Seamore!" She yelled at him, he tried to hide his smirk.

He knew that the reaction of the magnet would be powerful, but he wasn't sure how much.

Nara looked at her weapons, that hit the ground a few feet behind her.

I _can recall them…_

Images of how she could use this infiltrated her mind, making her completely inspired. She ran to retrieve them and repeated the process.

She didn't catch them again, but she didn't fear them hurting her. She would learn this new move, no matter how long it took.

"We might need to adjust the strength of the magnet," suggested the doctor, who watched her fail to catch either of the swords.

"No. They need to be as powerful as they can. I'll learn how to catch it, just wait," explained Nara, who threw the swords into the tree again.

The doctor chuckled and sat down to watch her practice. Her determination always seemed to surprise him. Her determination to live, her determination to learn, and her determination to fight against the First Order… It was enlightening, even inspiring.

The people here may fear her, but he know that she also imputed them. No one else here, except maybe General Organa, was more stubborn.

The way the device worked isn't elaborate. It was such a simple idea, but it hadn't been done before. Then again, how many people died and were brought back? There was a strong, controllable magnet implanted into Nara's fake arm, in the wrist. The button activates the magnets inside the handles of the swords, and voila! The swords fly towards the target, if not slightly off.

It was quite a piece of machinery.

I can _master this. I can use this._

Nara's smile radiated and showed her excitement over this new ability.

XXX

The dark figure walked off his ship, with storm troopers by his sides. The officers at the bottom of the aisle were waiting to debrief him on their progress.

His stride was wide and strong. His hood covered the top of his mask, while it dragged behind him.

"Sir, the locals haven't been giving us too much trouble, but could we-"

"If they're not giving you any trouble, why was I asked to come here?" He asked, not in the mood for their pathetic troubles.

He walked across the dirt, the area was barren. The land was mountainous, the tops were covered in snow. Most of the plants were bushes, there were no trees or flowers. The locals were strange primal creatures, that only just discovered fire years ago. They were primitive, the First Order took advantage. They had several deposits of a special mineral that Supreme Leader Snoke requested.

Not that any of this mattered to Kylo Ren. He does as he is told, he doesn't question his master or his will. His training had made him submissive, only to Snoke. To the rest of the Galaxy, he was as cold as ice. His training had been unheard of. It consisted of months upon months of never seeing another person, of hard physical training, hours of still silence In meditation. He was a pure weapon now.

"Sir, some of my men fear that… Because of the recent attacks, that the Reaper would come." Continued the officer, fear was making him stutter.

At the mention of the Reaper, Kylo Ren force grabbed the man by the throat.

"If the Reaper is daring enough to show up here and cause more chaos, she'd be the least of your worries." He threatened.

He released him, and continued on his way. The officer landed on his knees and wrapped his fingers round his bruised neck. He coughed dramatically, but managed to get out, "Of course, sir."

Kylo Ren walked the perimeter of the base they had created. It was nothing spectacular, tents were in order and several men and women were next to the mountain, chipping away at it.

"Only kill the terrorist if you must, Kylo Ren. Bring her to me if you are able. I personally want to deal with her."

Those were direct orders from Snoke to Kylo Ren. He was going to do his task, but he felt like something was off about the Reaper. She had done so much destruction. She had just appeared out of nowhere. He felt something… Different about her. He hadn't seen her himself yet, but he was curious as to what he would find.

 _She's going to come here._

Kylo Ren could feel her energy moving. Soon, he would meet and bring her to his master. It couldn't be too difficult of a task.


	11. Chapter 11: Nostalgia

The stars in the distance had become streaks of beautiful white while they entered lightspeed. Nara always liked what the universe looked like when they were going the speed of light. It became more warped than it already was.

Nara sighed and went to relax in the lounge. She didn't like taking Han's ship, but it was the only freighter that the Resistance were willing to lose. Nara thought that it was an insult to Han's memory. Nara knew that it was more than just a piece of trash. It had such a legacy behind it.

The lounge had never changed. The table that became game was still there. Nara remembered the hours that her and Ben would sit and play, while his father was distracted by something else. Han never let 'the kids' play in his ship. Nara smiled, remembering when he had found them playing in the cockpit. He was so angry. Looking back, Nara knew that he was just keeping them safe.

The blonde woman sat and looked around the ship that she grew up in. She wished she could have taken any other ship. Flying the Millennium Falcon was like flying a big target. However, no other pilots would let her take their ships to complete one of her tasks. None of them trusted her. It made her livid, but she understood their hesitation.

They were afraid of the power she had. No one expected her to live & somehow, Seamore had managed to sustain her. And when she woke, it took some time, but she became cold, distant from the rest of them. None of them had ever been through what she had.

It seemed like Poe Dameron was the only one to trust her, completely, without wavering. He used to help her train here and there when she returned from Luke's training. The help wasn't really all that helpful, but she appreciated his gesture. He was a good man. If she hadn't been born into the life she had, she might've considered him as being more than her friend.

The only thing that Poe did not agree with was that Nara saved Kylo Ren's life. He thought that it was a moment of weakness. He just didn't understand, Nara knew that. No one would understand something that she barely understood herself.

Although, Poe had been very encouraging of her cause. He even piloted her to a few of them. No one stayed longer than just dropping her off until she was finished. And if it had been a bad fight, he would help her afterwards. She never got seriously injured, but they all had been exhausting.

Thinking about her battles, she thought about the one she was going to go into now. She assumed that they would fear her coming, and that Kylo Ren was already there. If she had escaped his two henchmen, he would have to take deal with her. She was scared, she admitted it. At least, she admitted it to herself. The thought of battling Kylo Ren filled her up with adrenaline, and fear, that she couldn't stop shaking. Her hands, held out straight, would wobble uncontrollably.

She heard Chewie's moan, meaning that they would be arriving soon. They were going to land 3 miles away from the mining site. She wasn't going to attack head on, she would have to be sneaky. She was going to sabotage the mining ships that were returning the minerals to Snoke. She gripped the tracking device attached to her belt; she would allow one ship to escape & plant the device onto it. She would track it all the way back to Snoke & his hide-out.

She feared that the minerals wouldn't be going directly to him, but it would be a start. Perhaps they would give her some clue. Leia was the only one that knew about the tracking device. She didn't want to let the entire Resistance know her plan until after he had completed it. Maybe she would gain at least some of their trust.

Nara reached the cockpit just in time for Chewie to get out of lightspeed, and see the planet. It was barren, it had barely any green on it. It reminded her of Jakku, all sand and brown. There were patches of forestry and the tips of mountains were white with snow. The oceans were strange, they appeared green from the planetary view, and that there was more land than ocean.

"The mining site is near the mountains in the northwestern hemisphere, let's cruise down. But try to be… inconspicuous, okay?" she asked Chewie patting his shoulder. She turned to leave the room, but Chewie's question made her freeze.

He had asked her if she would kill him if he was down there. Chewie was usually a gentle giant, and he never spoke about Kylo Ren or killing.

"I'll do what I have to do. The decision depends on him," she said, leaving the cockpit.

It was unnerving, thinking about taking Kylo Ren's life. Nara had replayed the scene in her head more than a million times and every time, she wasn't able to kill him. Her hands and arms wouldn't move in the way she needed them to. She hoped that the adrenaline would make it easier to do what she needs to.

She also hoped that he just wouldn't be there. Hopefully she hadn't caused enough damage to be targeted by him. Somehow, she doubted she wasn't noticed yet.

She felt the violent entry into the atmosphere, and knew she had to start getting ready. She entered the laboratory of the ship and stared into the mirror. Her yellow hair was in a bun, and her lips were dry.

 _Just finish the job. That's all you have you do._

The way she spoke to herself made her feel even more nervous, the knot tightened in her stomach. She had to think about something that enraged her.

She closed her eyes and envisioned the helpless inhabitants of the planet. They were struggling in cages, they didn't understand what was happening. They were so simple, how could the First Order interrupt their evolutionary process? How could they kill those that couldn't fight for themselves? Just for some special _mineral?_

It was despicable. Nara opened her eyes and looked at her face again. She had managed to replace the nerves with anger, but her face only showed pain. She shook her head and placed her helmet over her head. Instantly, she became the Reaper. The Reaper wasn't' scared of death, or Kylo Ren. She was pissed off and ready to slice apart some horrible people.

She saw the entire bathroom around her, she could even see directly behind her at the window. They were landing in just a few moments. She breathed in, the metallic lung responded and expanded with her. She controlled her body, even if almost half of it was artificial. She felt like she could controlled it better than her old body.

The landing was subtle, she hardly swayed.

"Wish me luck, Chewie. I'll call you when I'm finished. Don't go too far away!" she called up to the cockpit.

She heard him yell back some sort of luck, and she exited the Falcon.

In front of her, were was a mountain range, going east to west. Other than the incredible mountains, the rest of her surroundings were brown dirt and sand. Bushes and cacti were spread out, but they were more depressing than anything. The air tasted dry, making her chapped lips ache even more.

Her grey cape waved in the heavy wind. Nara hadn't prepared for wind, but she started running anyway. She would have to head to the west and then follow the sounds of explosions. The explosions would come from the workers trying to get into the mountains.

She watched her surroundings in the mirrors, but kept her real focus on the dirt in front of her. Her heart beat was equal, it hadn't started beating too fast. Yet, anyway.

XXX

From a distance, Kylo Ren sat on a rock, watching the workers mine and mine. They hadn't stopped since the day the First Order had taken control. They go all day. He wondered which thing made them keep working. Their true devotion to the First Order, or their fear of them.

The heat was unbearable, the wind was so dry, he could barely handle it himself. His uniform didn't make his struggles any easier. He felt sweat drip down his right brow, and slide down the side of his face.

This planet looked just like Jakku. He was lucky to only be there when the sun wasn't beating down on him.

That time seemed so long ago. So much had changed since then. Nara was dead, Han was dead, and Kylo Ren had managed to become even more imbursed into the dark side. Although, all of his training still hadn't gotten rid of his dreams.

He had tried to make them stop, but he eventually accepted them. Subconsciously, he loved them. He loved being there in the moments when Nara was alive, and they were both as happy as they could be.

He remembered what Nara looked like as an adult. She became beautiful. Her hair was long, her skin was tanned and flawless. He hadn't seen her smile, but he assumed that it made her look even more intoxicating. But even when he mastered the art of thinking about her, Kylo Ren refused to remember her eyes.

Her eyes were so full of life and hope when they were children. They even gave him hope, she looked at him like no one ever had or has. They sparkled when they looked at him, they were his reassurance. The last time he had ever seen them, they were dead. Her eyes were empty, and they were a mirror into him. Remembering her eyes would open an entire side of his mind that he wasn't ready for.

Suddenly, there was a wave that came over Ren. He shot his head up, taking him out of his thoughts, towards where it had come from. He stood up and listened to the Force for a moment. The wave felt so… familiar.

 _The Reaper._

He felt her, she was on the planet. He started walking towards where she was coming from. The familiarity of her made Kylo Ren seem erratic. It was unnerving, her feeling. Whatever it was, Kylo Ren had to finally meet her. It was time to take her to his master. He was growing tired of waiting.

He reached the base of the mountain and gained several stares from the workers. He felt their fear, but decidedly ignored them. The tens of workers picked up their unstoppable pace. An explosion brought Kylo back to reality. It wasn't a normal explosion that had been going on for days, it was different. Louder, less controlled.

Kylo Ren heard the screams of workers, near by. The workers' attention was drawn towards the sounds too. He strode over the hill and saw one of their ships ablaze. The smoke from the fire colored the sky grey. A white figure came out from the other side of the blown-up ship, her swords in the abdomen of a stormtrooper. They were covered in electricity. He had heard of her interesting swords, and her fighting skills, but he had doubted the validity of the rumors.

He was truly impressed.

When she had thrown down the stormtrooper, she looked ahead of her, as if she knew everything around her.

But then, she _changed_. She turned and faced him, the wind was blowing her long cape. Her swords were crackling, the light blue reflecting off her visor. It was like she knew he was there without looking. Kylo Ren couldn't feel her strength with the Force.

Ren lifted his head, and started walking down the hill, and around the debri. He stopped about 20 feet away from the Reaper. She hadn't moved.

 _Why does she feel so strange?_ Kylo Ren thought to himself, unable to shake the feeling.

"My Master ordered me to bring you to him. Or kill you. The decision is your's," he said, no emotion running through his words.

For some reason, he didn't feel threatened. Not because she wouldn't be formidable enemy, but because he couldn't feel death from her. He didn't even feel her fear.

She didn't reply, but she took a step closer to him.

In fact, he felt bravery emanate off of her. He could see her anger as if that was the only thing she had.

He unclipped his saber and ignited it. The red glare mirrored off his own visor, he felt the raw heat from the parts near his hand.

"Leave me be, and there won't be a problem. I'm only here for the people _you_ imprisoned for no just cause. Leave me be and we'll both be better off," she ordered, her voice mechanical and unrecognizable.

He flipped around the lightsaber in his hand, which translated into: _No way in hell._

She nodded, understand him. Her swords rose, and her cape fell off, into the wind. Her white armor looked brighter in the sun. Her figure was still feminine, despite the armor, but it made her look even more fierce.

Kylo Ren was the first one to charge, forcing her to go the defensive. She blew away his first strike with both swords. She was pushed back a little, but nothing she couldn't handle. He striked again, but this time, the Reaper ducked in time to slice across his waist line. He jumped back to avoid her, but he kept his balance.

The Reaper took the opportunity to cross her swords and violently separate them at his chest. He put his saber vertical in time to push back against her again. This time, she didn't budge. Their weapons were pushing up against each other. The mix of red and light blue reflecting in both of their visors, their faces only inches away from each other. He could feel her eyes pouring into his. The force was screaming at him, that something was different about her.

 _He's distracted_. She thought to herself, stealing the opportunity.

She twisted her swords to the side, making him lose his balance towards her. She stepped back fast, breaking the connection. He looked in her mirrors, seeing what was around her. She looked at all the debri around them, and the dark smoke rising from the engine.

 _Higher ground._

She turned her back to him and ran towards on the wings of the ship. He ran after him, she saw him rise his saber to strike across her back. She reached one swords 'blindly' behind her and guarded her back long enough for her to jump on top of the wing. He almost stopped, stunned.

She took this time to run away, he couldn't see where she went after she jumped off the wing on the other side. She only had a few moments to get to the next ship. She may be in a battle, but this battle wouldn't end. She still had a job to do.

She reached the top of the hill. Stormtroopers surrounded the other ships, guarding them.

 _Damn it!_ She screamed at herself. Then she noticed Kylo Ren coming up behind her again.

This time she turned, and blocked another after another strike against his red saber. She caught an opportunity to strike against his stomach, but he blocked it with ease.

 _She isn't aiming to kill me._

Every time she tried to attack back, she chose places that would only injure him, not eliminate him.

She striked again, both swords aiming for his left side. He jumped backwards, but this time, he tripped. He fell onto his back, and rolled down the hill. As soon as he landed on his back, she turned and ran towards the closest ship. The stormtroopers aimed and fired at her. She managed to deflect the ones that would have hit her, which she was even surprised about.

When she got close to them, her instinct took over. She jumped, as high as she could over a troop and stabbed the ones to the left and right of him. They both collapsed, and she killed the third troop before he had even turned around. Two more stormtroopers fired at either side of her, but she blocked them both. The lasers reflected off of her swords and hit them both in the chest.

The Reaper rose from her knee and took in a breathe. The air was still as dry as before, until she saw that Kylo Ren had recovered himself and was walking over the hill.

 _I can't do it._

She was purposefully only disrupting his balance. He would kill her without a second thought, but she couldn't get her swords aimed at his heart or head. Every instinct in her told her to not kill him. No matter how much he tried to kill her, she couldn't do it.

She turned and used her robotic arm to rip off the hood to the engine of the ship. She stabbed into the fuel container, making it all leak. She detached an explosive from her waist and strapped it to the engine. She saw Kylo Ren getting closer in the mirror, so she turned and ran towards the mountains.

"Stop running, Reaper. Face me!" yelled Kylo, sending shivers down her spine.

Nara stopped running when she reached a mined in part of the mountain. Kylo ren was only a few paces behind her. She pressed the button on the detonator, making the ship explode. Debri flew up into the air, with bright flames going in all directions. Both Kylo Ren and the Reaper stopped to watch the next series of events. A wing went straight out and landed on the ship, directly in front of Nara and Kylo Ren.

Immediately, Kylo Ren jumped into the small hole in the cave. Nara's reactions weren't as quick, the split second before she moved, a piece of the ship had struck the mountain. Boulder and dirt came crashing down. A small rock landed on Nara's leg, breaking it instantly. She was pinned, while other rocks landed around her, covering her in dirt.

She could see the entrance of the cave become covered and blocked, while her vision slowly became blurry, until finally she couldn't see a thing at all.


	12. Chapter 12: Emotion

Kylo watched the girl from the other side of the cave through the eyes of his visor. The small fire he made was making the cave an oven. When he finally couldn't handle the heat, he stripped off his helmet. He took a deep breath as if he couldn't breathe before.

His focus went back on the girl. He has her in his control now. Her leg was still pinned underneath the rock, so she wasn't going to go anywhere.

He knew they were going to escape soon enough, everyone in the entire camp watched them get trapped behind the collapse. The simple-minded storm troopers might assume they're dead, but Snoke would know better.

They would escape soon, and he would have the Reaper.

The title seems to fit.

Kylo envisioned the battle again, and he saw that, again, that she wasn't aiming to kill him. But only him. She obviously doesn't mind taking lives, he saw her kill tens of storm troopers alone today.

It was only him, that she didn't try to kill. Why would she do that?

Nara started coming to when Kylo Ren was deep in thought and planning. She felt sharp pain run from the middle of her calf to her chest. She yelped out a little, and sat up straight. Her forehead collided with a protruding rock, her eyes shot open with surprise. It didn't hurt her, her mask was still on.

That's when she noticed him, watching her.

Ben…

She stared at him through the mirror, she couldn't move her eyes. She wasn't expecting the deep scar, running from his forehead to his jaw. His face looked almost different. His eyes held darkness beneath them, they were an abyss. He looked pale, unhealthy.

But, all Nara could see was Ben. She knew that's who she would see. To her, he was Ben, but just broken and lost.

The pain in her leg was numbed, she couldn't move her foot. She finally stripped her eyes away from him, and looked around the room they were in. The collapse had just barely missed her, she was lucky to be alive.

Or would it have been better to be buried beneath the rocks?

"I disarmed you," he said, finally breaking the silence.

His voice.

Her heart beat faster and faster with every small word he spoke. She thought she couldn't breathe and her metallic lung had froze.

"You didn't take off my helmet," she said, her voice sounded more confident than she really was.

"Your identity doesn't interest me," he retorted.

The idea came to mind, but something had told him to be patient. In truth, he only want to know what she looked like, who she was. He had enough self control to distract himself from curiosity.

Nara knew that he lied, but she didn't reply. How would a total stranger know when he was lying? She couldn't reveal herself, not now. She would be asking for death, he would kill her without much hesitation.

The rock crushing her leg was fairly large, but Nara had confidence that she could push it off with her mechanical arm. She saw him watching her, he thought she couldn't tell. Nara felt annoyed being watched so carefully by him.

She positioned her other leg crossed against the other thigh, and put her fake arm on the rock. Nara breathed in deep, and held it there. She knew it was extremely painful once she freed her leg, but it had to be done.

She pushed with all her strength, and the rock easily tipped over. She screamed, throwing her head back. After regaining her breath, with the rest of the strength that she had, she used her arms to pull herself to the wall. She whimpered again, the armor on her leg had taken most of the damaged. She could tell her leg was broken in half.

The pain started subsiding when she was still for a few moments.

Now, they were only a few feet away from each other, and he was still watching her with a blank expression.

"Does my pain make you feel better, or do I just look pretty today?" She asked, finally facing him head on.

He looked away towards the fire, lightening his face for a moment. She swears she could see a slight smirk.

He looked back at her and said, "Mirrors."

"What?" She said, her pain and awe was too much.

"You have mirrors in her helmet. That's how you blocked me when your back was to me."

She looked at him for another moment and warmth overwhelm her. It was like she was filled with pride. She only saw the little boy that she valued over everything.

Nara tore away her eyes when she felt tears running down her cheeks.

"You're bleeding," she heard him say.

She looked at her leg. A pool of blood surrounded her calf, but Nara didn't know where from. Kylo stood up, abruptly, and Nara flinched at his tall figure.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at her until he realized why she jerked away from him, even though he was feet away.

Kylo rolled his eyes and said, "Killing you or letting you die would be pointless. I'm bringing you to Supreme Leader Snoke."

He knelt at her outstretched leg, and ripped off the armor over her wound. She screamed and warned "Don't-"

"Quiet, I'm helping you," he ordered, not looking at her.

After he had stripped her of her shoe, and pulled up her body suit, her tanned skin was revealed. Her wound was black, purple, and swollen. Kylo didn't have any reaction to the gory mess. He seemed focused on finding the bleeding.

The way he was holding her leg when he needed to move it, was so gentle. He wasn't trying to make it painful, in fact, he was making it easier. He watched with focus in his eyes. She felt herself blushing, this was the only time he had touched her. In years. Her skin crawled every time he touched her.

When Kylo found the puncture wound, caused by the base of the armor, he ripped apart his cape. One small piece and then two long strips.

This entire time, Kylo stole small glances to her, even if he couldn't see her face. And Nara couldn't take her eyes off of him. This reminded her of the time that he broke apart the tree, and a part of the branches scratched her. He was so worried about her that day, so angry. Now he seemed distant and numb.

He placed the smaller piece over her cut, she felt a sharp sting. He then put the armor back on, the pressure actually felt nicer than the open air. He slowly wrapped the two pieces of cloth around her leg, and tied them together near her ankle. When he was finished, he rose as if he did nothing and sat back down.

She wasn't sure if she should thank him, because her voice seemed to be stuck in her throat. She was speechless. He had just… helped her.

She found the words and he didn't reply. He stared into the fire, as if it would give him the answers.

When he touched her, he was filled with images of Nara. He saw her smiling, laughing. He saw her crying and her lifeless eyes. He remembered the pitiful cries that left his lips when she died in his arms.

Now all he could hear was her cry and him begging her to not die. It made him feel weak, in his chest and in his limbs. He felt more and more numb the more he remembered.

Why does this woman remind me of Nara? Why now?

He thought he had forgotten the pain he felt that day, he thought he was stronger.

The one person I never wanted to lose…

He changed his mind immediately. He couldn't be controlled by his emotions. His training had taught him how to move his focus and to blank his mind. He only needed to tap into his anger when in battle, it made him relentless.

The first thought entering his mind was the Reaper.

"You weren't aiming to kill me, why?" He asked.

Nara sucked in fast, and watched him in the mirrors.

"What makes you think I wasn't aiming to kill you?" She asked.

"You weren't aiming for vulnerable areas. You waited to explode the ship until I was farther say from it. You didn't reach for a weapon when you woke up. Why?" He explained, his voice was stern, like he was questioning an officer of a lower rank.

Nara couldn't think of a good answer. So she decided to challenge him.

"Why did you kill Han Solo?"

The question flew from her lips before she could catch it. Avoiding the question would have to be dramatic. His jaw clenched in response and he looked away from her. He almost looked ashamed, but he was only surprised.

"Why did you kill your father?" She asked again, she couldn't stop herself. She hadn't known she wanted answers, but now, questions are the only things she can think about.

"You knew him…" Said Kylo, feeling her anger.

She shook her head, no. Nara was crying. She saw her best friend kill the man that had saved her life and yet, she still couldn't hate him! Even looking at him now, she never felt hatred for him.

"I know the things you've done. I haven't tried to kill you, because… Leia, Leia still hasn't given up on you. You can go back, this could be over if you choose it to be." Said Nara, she felt her heart go into the words, as if she practiced this in her mind a million times.

"I don't have anything to return to, now." He said, as if he had already thought about it.

His mind seemed to be light years away.

Does he mean me?

She could tell the conversation had ended. Now he knew that she wouldn't kill him if she could help it. And obviously, he wouldn't kill her. She was to go to Snoke. The thought confused her, there was no way that the Leader of the First Order wanted her alive.

"Snoke wants to torture me," she mumbled, mostly to herself. She pictured all the cruel and unusual things the First Order has done to confirm complete mind control.

If they see my face… What will Kylo Ren do then?

She wasn't sure, honestly. Now, after actually speaking to him, him helping her leg heal properly. She didn't know what to do.

Kylo Ren heard her fear, and wanted to reassure her, but he didn't know what her fate was. She had asked him to return to his old home, just like Han did. The difference was, he could never go back without her. Before, he had a chance. He had a chance to be at least okay, with her. Without her, he couldn't imagine his life.

Suddenly, an explosion shook the cave, making various rocks slip and slice. The air was so still for a moment after, the pair were waiting for a full on collapse.

"They'll be here soon." He said, staring at the exit.

Suddenly, Nara was reminded.

The tracking device!

She looked at her waist and saw that Kylo hadn't taken it, he must have mistaken it for a buckle. Nara stole a glance at Kylo, who was lost in thought. She casually pressed the button, sending off a signal. Hopefully, Leia would be watching and waiting. She would send someone, something. Especially when she realizes she isn't back yet.

Nara glances past Kylo, her weapons were laying next to him. When the time was right, she'd use her new skill, it wasn't quite mastered, but it's a good surprise tactic. She wouldn't kill him, but getting away from him is her only option. Having a plan made her feel much better, even if she didn't have any hope.


	13. Chapter 13: Sunlight

_The day, ironically, was rainy and cloudy. Leia wasn't feeling well, she collapsed on the floor. Han was trying to take care of her, but she couldn't stop crying. She wouldn't tell them what was really wrong. Nara sat quietly in the other room, trying to eavesdrop on their whispers, with no success. She usually didn't pay attention when they fought, but this time, she had a horrible feeling that something had happened to Ben._

 _She hadn't heard from her friend since he left. She knew that he wouldn't be able to contact anyone while he was training. But, in the back of her mind, she expected him to find a way to see her. Nara missed him, more than she thought she would. Han and Leia do as well. They miss their child, but they have Nara over so often, that they barely have time to show it. They love her, as if she was their daughter. Or so they thought._

 _Nara looked at their simple living room. Grey seemed to be their favorite color. Or it as the only color they could agree on. Nar couldn't tell which. The windows were depressing to stare out of. Nara never really liked rain, she much preferred sunlight. Her pale skin would become darkened, and the heat from the sun would pump endorphins throughout her veins. She felt whole in the sun. In the rain, she felt like her happiness was temporarily washed away._

 _She heard a knock on the door and stared at it, unsure if she should answer it. They rarely get called upon, but this day had a strange vibe to it. Nara just sat there, staring at the door, until Han came into the room with hollow eyes._

" _Go into Ben's room. Let me handle this," said Han, looking away from her. His voice was heavy with suppressed emotion. Nara did as she was told, hesitating for a moment before running into the room._

 _The room dusty, as if no one was willing to enter it at all. His bed was neatly made, and when she sat on it, even more dust came piling out of it. She thought about all the times they played in the room. All of the times she held him while his parents argued about him. Most of the time, they didn't even know they were there. Nara had been there for all of it. Now, she had no one there for her._

 _The older she was, the more she thought about her real parents. How different would her life had been if they had never died? She never would have met Ben. She giggled to herself, thinking about how much Ben would have destroyed if she wasn't there. He probably would have destroyed the entire forest by now. Not to mention all the kids that picked on him. It gave her chills thinking that he could be dark and cold without her._

 _Suddenly, she felt better. She lost her parents, her real family, but she had been there for Ben. Strangely, it felt like a good trade. She may have lost a lot, but she gained it back in their friendship. She smiled, her white teeth shining in the dim light from the window._

 _The door flew open, and Han stood there. His face was as white as he had ever seen it. Nara's smile vanished._

" _Han… what is it?" she asked, slowly standing._

 _Han only looked at her, his eyes piercing through her's. She knew something had happened._

" _Is it Ben? Is he okay?!" she asked, stepping forward._

" _Nara…" she started, but his words fell short._

" _Tell me! Is Ben okay?" She raised her voice, annoyed that he was lingering the truth._

" _He's gone, Nara. He's…" a tear fell down onto his cheek and he looked at the ground. He couldn't finish his sentence._

 _Nara's heart froze, and her vision became blurry. The words were ringing in her head. 'He's gone' 'He's gone' 'He's gone'_

" _He's... Ben… Ben!" Nara's voice cracked as if she had never drank water before and her entire body was dry. Not even tears could escape her. Only dry screams left her throat._

 _She felt arms around her shoulders, then she realized her knees were weak and she had started to fall. Han was holding her, his greying hair smelled like old leather… or was that his jacket? Nara couldn't focus or tell the difference between the rain and her heart. She couldn't see anything. She only felt her heart being ripped out of her chest._

" _Ben was killed by another apprentice," whispered Han to her._

" _No!" she screamed, pushing Han off of her. He fell onto the floor and looked at the girl before him._

 _This small girl had endured so much already. She couldn't know the truth, she couldn't handle it. At least, that's what Han thought. He was already regretting the lie, but his soul had already turned black from the truth. His son was a monster and this little angel was so in love with him, she was blind to his darkness._

 _Nara was on her knees, clutching onto herself as if she would fall apart. Ben was dead. Ben is dead. Ben's gone._

 _Nara kept repeating the phrases in her head. He was killed. Killed by an abomination, a monster, and she would never forgive him._

 _XXX_

Sweat was beating down her head, behind the mask. Nara's helmet was becoming a torture device. She refused to sleep, afraid that he would take off her mask while she slept. And sleeping in the same room as Kylo Ren was definitely warned against. He hadn't  
slept either, but she doubted that it bothered him. He hadn't spoken since their last conversation, which she was grateful for.

The sound of his voice made her feel sick now. She wouldn't stop staring at him now. Looking at him had become like a show at a museum for her. She was studying everything about him. She tried to notice things that were different about him now, but she  
only saw the similarities. The wayhe thoughtwas the same. His eyes would become distant and he would stare at one spot while playing with something in his hands. In this case, it was a few small pebbles.

She could tell if what he was thinking about was sad or happy or just neutral. Most of the time, it was sad topics. Nara wanted so badly to ask him, but right now, she was the Reaper, not Nara. Right now, he was twirling the pebbles around his fingers  
while he looked down at his knees.

"I know you're staring," he said, breaking her out of her daydream.

She turned her head and said, "I'm making sure you don't attack."

"If I hadn't attacked in the past few hours, I won't attack you in the next few. That's not why you're staring." he said, matter-of-factly.

Nara shook her head and didn't reply. That was one thing that would never change. His intuition was immaculate.

"You should sleep. Snoke wouldn't appreciate a tired guest." He said as he stood up.

Ignoring his advice, Nara asked, "What are you doing?"

He ignored her right back and went to the blocked exit. He stood tall and with purpose. He stood with pride, and Nara wasn't sure if he deserve such confidence.

 _His powers make him prideful._

That was what was so different about him. Nara had never known him to be confident and proud of his power. When they were kids, he was ashamed of it. Now, it made him a god that no one could amount to. This was what Nara had always told him. Now, he believed  
it. A small smirk appeared on her face. Then, she remembered how he got to be this way. He had to prove his power to the galaxy, and he did that by murdering and creating orphans, just like her.

She felt her smirk disappear as fast as it appeared. Her best friend was the abomination that she hated so many years ago. She still hates him, but it was clouded by their past. She had so many questions for him, her whole life she thought about them.  
What she would ask if he had been alive, if they would have been together eventually, or if they would have grown apart. Now, those questions havepointless answers, but they still rung in the back of her mind.

If she wanted any of them answered, now would be the only time to ask beforethey escape here, she might not be alive long enough to see him again. Nara thought she'd be scared to die, but it never frightened her. The afterlife had to be lovely,  
compared to this reality. She would be relieved if Snoke killed her immediately.

"Can Iask you something?" he asked, his deep voice surprising her.

She looked at him and said, "I suppose?"

"You know Leia Organa personally?"

"Yes, I do… why?"

"Did she care when Han Solo died?"

"How dare you ask something like that. Of course she cared, she was heartbroken! She lost everyone in her family that day!"

"She lost her son a long time ago," He said, turning his back towards her.

"She didn't just lose her son. Leia lost her husband, the love her life, her brother disappeared years ago, and she lost… she lost Nara too. So- Stop thinking you're the onlyoneshe mourned over. You're the only one that is salvageablenow!"  
Nara wasn't sure if she mention herself, but she that was the only way she could get him to talk about her.

Immediately, he unveiled his red saber and pointed it towards Nara. She backed up into the wall, not getting very far from him.

His eyes became black and full of anger.

"You never speakabout Nara again. Understand?" he growled with fury.

Nara stayed perfectly still and silent, and only stared at the glowing red saber.

"You know nothing about Nara's death. That was an accident. It should have never happened," he said, as he stepped forward, still threatening her with the erect saber.

Nara still stayed silent, she was completely taken by surprise. This reaction, she wasn't expecting. She thought he would completely ignore the mention of her name, but instead, he reacted with anger and protectiveness.

"No one else has the right to mourn over her death more than me, no one!"

"I understand! I'm sorry," breathed out Nara, finally getting nervous.

After a few tense moment, he pulled his lightsaber back into its holder and sat down against the collapse. He looked embarrassed that he exploded on her, but he got his point across.

Remembering her looks like a chore for him, and suddenly, she wanted to hold him in her arms like they had done when they were kids, and make him feel better.

Somehow the universe had gone in a twisted circle. She's back where she was years ago, wanting to hold him after he lost control. Now, she can't. It's too late to hold his pieces together became his pieces are so far away and jagged, she would become  
hurt if she got too close.

"You're in so much pain," she mumbled under her breathe, before she could stop herself.

He looked at her, amazed at what he heard.

She looked at him, unsure of what will happen next.

"It's not too late for you. Come back with me, we can-"

"We? What could you possibly do for me? You are nothing but a fighter who is trying to save a galaxy that is already out of your control. You-"

"Shut up!" screamed Nara at him. "I am only trying to save you. You have so much light left in you that you can't even see! You can be redeemed, Ben. I can help you!"

He stared at her, as if he recognized her. Nara's breath was held in.

An explosion filled the silence, and broke Kylo Ren out of his daze. She explosion caused a rock to start falling. When Ren heard Nara gasp, he turned and make the rock freeze in midair.

He pushed it over to the other side of the cave. The rush made the fire go out, and everything was dark except for the small cracks of sunlight coming through. She could make out his tall figure, still just standing there.

"I have nothing to go back to. And Ihave so much more to do. Stop speaking or I'll wrap cloth around your mouth to force you silent."

He sat back down. Nara felt defeated, and stayed silent. She wasn't sure why, but she liked the darkness. She didn't want any sunlight right now. She cried silently, and closed her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14: Truth

When Nara awoke again, she could hear the voices of the men outside. They were so close to freeing them. She breathed slowly, listening to their chatter. Nara wasn't sure how long exactly they were stuck in the cave, but it had to be at least a day. The  
longest day of her life, really. She was overwhelmed with anxiety the whole time.

She also felt guilt. It rippled throughout her. Kylo knows she's dead, and obviously, it pains him. She wonders how often he thinks about her. She wonders if he felt the same way she did the day he died. Does he feel it, does he turn it into raw power?  
Does the sound of her name fill his empty void with red, pulsing pain?

Nara instinctively wiped her forehead to catch the drip of sweat, but of course, the mask made it impossible. She groaned and slid down the wall more, her leg was numb, she didn't feel the break anymore.

Nara thought about how the hell she was going to escape him with a broken leg. She couldn't, plain truth, but Leia could. Leia could get troops here to save her. But, how many would he risk, just for her life? Hopefully, not many. Not that they would  
volunteer anyway. She was a freak there.

Nara flexed her fake arm, feeling the metal tendons expand. She was grateful to be alive most of the time. She had trained herself to be happy about life.

Suddenly, Kylo shot his head up, staring at the exit. A frown appeared just as fast.

"Leia Organa," was all he said.

Screams erupted from outside. Nara listened and heard recognizable X-Wings blasters. Nara smiled beneath her mask, and tried to stand using the wall. Her leg still didn't give her pain, and she wasn't sure why, but was grateful for it.

Nara's anxiety shot up again. A blaster shot at the exit, creating a large hole that they could both crawl out of.

 _We're finally free._

Kylo ignited his weapon, and started widening the gap. Nara watched, and noticed that her weapons were still on the ground. She looked at the back of Kylo and then back at her two swords.

She could attack him now, at least knock him out, long enough for her to escape cleanly. Or, she could wait until they were outside. She didn't want to hurt him. But if that was the only way to escape without going to Snoke to be tortured, than she would  
do it.

"Can you walk?" he asked, going back to their things, and strapping them to his belt.

Nara tried take a step, but she couldn't put any pressure onto her leg. She shook her head. He rolled his eyes and came over to her. He hadn't been this close to her since he helped her with her leg. He wrapped an arm around her waist, to steady her,  
and he wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

She felt like she couldn't breathe as he walked her to the exit. She could see the sun, feel its warmth. If she could breathe, she would smell the dirt and think about Jakku. However, all of her focus was on the sweat beading down Kylo's neck and his  
hand on her waist. She was watching how his eyes were focussed on the opening, and how he was breathing through his mouth.

 _He was beautiful._

Feeling her stares, Kylo stopped right at the opening and looked at her. She looked away, embarrassment filling her cheeks. But that didn't stop her from looking in the mirror at him. How could she? This might be the last time she looks at her old best  
friend.

Kylo looked away from her, but still felt her eyes. He watched the battle unfolding outside. It wasn't much of one. The X-Wings have landed, and the soldiers were getting rid of the remaining First Order troops. No doubt, reinforcements would come soon.  
Sooner than it would take for them to find their precious Reaper.

Another resistance freighter had landed. He felt her presence, his mother's. He hadn't ever prepared himself to see her again. He assumed she would give up after Han Solo's death. But after the Reaper's spiel about him returning to the light, he realized  
that she would never give on him. He truly was the only one left for her to rescue.

When Leia had gotten off of the ship, she looked around. She was surrounded by other officers, but ignored them. She was searching for _him._ He could feel her energy circling everywhere. But, she would never find them in time with her weak powers  
of the Force.

Kylo felt his chest tighten slightly at seeing her, but he could push it out easy enough.

"What's happening? Can we leave?" asked the Reaper's annoying mechanical voice.

He looked at her then looked back at Leia. That's when he noticed. Leia was holding a screen. The officers around her were pointing in their exact direction. For the first split second, he didn't understand how they could possibly know where they were.  
Then, the realization came to him.

He dropped the Reaper onto the ground and she whimpered.

"What the hell?!" she screamed at him. He searched over her body, then noticed it. The flat circular device strapped to her belt. He rolled his eyes and said, "Is that a tracking device?"

She looked down at her waist and became speechless.

"You pathetic little-" the rest of his words were drowned out by the igniting of his saber. The red filled the room more than it had ever. He sliced down at her, but she rolled out of the way.

"Stop! I'm not armed!" she screamed at him.

"Enough!" he screamed at her, and he sliced at her again, she rolled farther out of the way again.

She scooted until she was against the wall with nowhere else to go. He was completely overwhelmed with anger, there was no talking to him. Nara had never been at this side of his anger. It was probably the scariest scene she had ever seen. No wonder his  
opponents rarely lived.

"I don't want to fight you!" She yelled at him.

"How can you if you're unarmed?" he said, walking up to her.

He raised his saber at her one more time, but in the split second it took him to bring it down, Nara slapped her forearm with all of her strength.

The sabers came flying out of his belt, making him lose his balance for a moment. Nara was able to catch one, the hilt of the other hit her in the stomach. She ignored the pain and ignited the electricity of the one sword she had.

Her white and blue light pushed against his red. He was bewildered by her sudden act of strength. She grasped the hilt with both hands and pushed him away for her.

Gasping, she stood up, awaiting the next blow. He stood there for a moment, wondering how that possibly happened. Then, his wonder turned into fierce anger. This girl was more than he thought.

He came running at her, lifting his saber. She didn't run at him, but she stepped forward and the two sabers met again and again. She was pushed against the wall, but she knew how to be on the defensive. She blocked every blow, she wasn't even tired yet.

In one moment, Kylo had hesitated to strike again. And the Reaper had taken advantage. She struck at him, and stepped forward on her bad leg. Pain finally ignited all the way up,but still, she ignored it. She kept her balance, and pushed her pain  
into her sword.

Blow after blow, she was attacking him. He expertly blocked every single one. The sparks of the red and white were everywhere. Finally, Kylo was unable to block a blow, and was cut and burned in his thigh. The Reaper took advantage of his wound, and kneed  
him in the face using her broken leg.

Kylo Ren fell onto his back and was unconscious. He laid long enough for Nara to collapse and catch her breathe. She felt like she was going to throw up. It took her a moment, but she had found the strength long enough to disarm him and take his saber.

She started walking towards the exit when he began waking up again. He watched her, bewildered at what had just happened. She saw him waking in her mirrors.

"I didn't want to fight you," was all she said as she pulled herself out of the hole.

She saw Leia running towards her, tears in her eyes. When Nara reached the other side, she felt dizzy and queazy. Her emotions were running high, but so was her blood.

"Nara! Oh, are you okay?!" yelled out Leia as she wrapped her arms around Nara's neck.

"He's inside. He's hurt, he shouldn't be a bother to anyone. Make sure you cuff him," was all Nara said as she pulled Leia off of her.

Leia didn't understand until some resistance pilots pulled him out. He fought against their grasp, with no success. Nara turned and watched him be put onto Leia's freighter. He watched her and Leia, but when the doors finally closed, Nara collapsed, unable  
to breathe.

Nara pulled off her mask and let the air hit her face. She didn't realize it, but she had been crying. Her face was wet with tears and sweat, and the dry air felt perfectly amazing. Leia crouched next to her, running her fingers through her hair to calm  
her down.

"It was terrible, Leia. He attacked me and his face… oh God, Leia, he tried to kill me. I fought and I-"

"Shh. It's okay now, it's over, Nara. Does… does he know that you…?"

"No… no, he doesn't know who I am. For now, anyway," she explained.

Leia sighed and ordered some men to help her up and onto the medical ship.

XXX

When Nara found herself back in her own room, she collapsed on her bed. It was never the most comfortable thing, but she felt overwhelmed by the lack of sleep and her weariness from the fight. It had taken a lot more out of her than she thought it would've.  
Even when she fought the Knights of Ren, she wasn't this tired.

Everytime she closed her eyes, she could see his eyes become filled with anger. She saw him attacking her. She had never seen such hatred before.

A knock on the door awoke her from her daydreaming… or her day nightmare.

"Yes?" she called to the door when she stood up.

Her leg had been wrapped in a confining cloththat forced her bones together, she barely felt any pain. Her foot was still numb, but that would probably be better than it not being numb.

Poe came through the door. His face was white, but he was smiling.

"Hey Poe!" she said, hugging him. He grapsed her tight, as if he wasscared he was never going to see her again.

"You're alive," was all he said.

"Of course I am. I told you I would be fine, right?" she said, as she let go of him.

As Nara turned to put away her things, Poe watched her. She wasn't wearing her armor, so her mechanical arm was visible. He never found her unattractive with it, but he didn't like the way it felt on his skin. He was always expecting skin on skin when  
touching someone. To feel something like a droid when talking to a human was unnerving.

Obviously, he would never say anything, because she was still beautiful.

"Did you need me for something? Or just making sure I'm alive?" she said, chuckling.

He loved how somehow she still had a sense of humor. Regardless of everything she has been through, she is still the strongest person he knows.

"He's asking for you." was all he said.

Nara turned, confusion obviously printed on her face.

"I wasn't expecting him to be asking for the Reaper. At least not so soon. I assumed-"

"He's not asking for the Reaper. He's asking for _you…"_

Nara didn't fully understand at first, he shouldn't know that she's alive. Unless someone blurted it out. But no one could be quite that stupid.

"He's asking for Nara… I told him that was impossible but he threw a fit. He's throwing things around the room and not allowing anyone else to enter, not even Leia can go in there. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to restrain him," explained Poe.

"How does he even know?! Should I… should I wear my mask or should I just go in there?" she asked him, staring at her disguise. She felt the thing was utterly useless at this point.

"Wear it. He might try to hurt you," said Poe.

 _He would never hurt me._ Thought Nara to herself.

She put back on all her armor and together, they started walking towards the site they were keeping him. They had him under complete lockdown. No one but allowed personnel was allowed even inside the building. Nara didn't blame them, though. None of them  
had ever been around someone who was strong with the force. They were scared, they were being cautious.

Even she couldn't think of a way to fully keep someone like him in prisonment.

"This is as far as I'm going to go," said Poe, stopping just outside of his cell.

Nara breathed in deep, and unlocked the door.

She didn't recognize the room she was in, but she knows she had been in there a hundred times. The desk was upside down and up against the wall on the other side of the room. The floor was covered in papers. The light fixture was ripped out and was laying  
on the ground. The room was lightened by a few lanterns someone must have brought in.

The other side of the room, where Kylo was kept captive, was protected by lights that kept him inside. The wall of light was white, and see through. When she finally spotted Kylo, he was laying on his back on his cot. He was breathing fast and deeply.

His hands were locked in two metal cuffs that completely covered them. His ankles were wrapped up in metal as well. The two devices were connected by a strong metal string.

"I didn't ask for you," he said, not looking at her.

"Wait… I-" she started to say.

"I want to see Nara. I know she's alive. Where is she?" he asked, sitting up on the edge of his cot.

"I don't understand… who told you she was-"

"Just get me Nara!" he screamed at her, force pushing the fallen light behind her to the far wall. It exploded, a bright flash erupted.

He laid back down, and stayed silent.

Nara cleared her throat and said, "The Nara you knew… she didn't survive the blast, Kylo Ren. She-"

"But she's not dead, is she? I just need to… I need to see her myself. You can't keep her from me!"

"Yes I can!" screamed back Nara.

He looked confused, and opened his mouth to retort, but Nara waved her hand to silence him. It was her turn to talk.

"The Nara you knew is gone. She… is barely human now. She doesn't have any interest in seeing you, she can't stand thinking about you. She killed herself to save you! What in the galaxy makes you think she wants you?"

"Barely human… what-"

"She watched you kill Han Solo… she still saved you for some damn reason, she doesn't even understand," Nara turned to leave, she couldn't do this anymore.

She wasn't wrong. The Nara that Ben had loved so many years ago was gone. She was barely human. But she did understand why she killed herself to save him. Because she loved him too, so many years ago.

"Wait. Wait!" he yelled after her.

Nara didn't stop, she reached the door, when she heard him ask, "Are you her?"

Nara stopped in her tracks. She lowered her head and looked at the ground.

"Nara…" he said her name.

His voice became like magic. She reached to her mask and pulled it off. She felt her long blonde hair fall out of it. She breathed in deep and turned towards him.

His face fell, and his chest tightened so much more than he could control. He looked into her eyes, for the first time and saw the same green he loved for years. He saw the same yellow hair that brightened his days as a child.

 _She's alive._

He felt a tear interrupt his vision, and quickly blinked it away.

"Nara. I can't believe you're-"

"Stop. Just, don't. Everything I said is true. I have no interest in listening to you. I'm leaving."

He sat there, stoically, and watched her leave. As soon as Nara was on the other side of the door, she leaned against it and regained her breathe. She didn't realize she wasn't breathing.

 _He knows._

She felt herself smile a little while she ran her hands through her hair. There was so much more she needed to say to him. Shehad so much anger coursing throughout her, but she also had so much happiness in her too. It was strange, but them both  
knowing that the other was alive… it was riveting.

She knew that right now would be a horrible time to go in there and scream at him. He needed time to settle with the truth. The Reaper was Nara and she was stronger than he ever imagined.

She smiled again and left the building.


End file.
